What's Smash?

One of the premier fighting game franchises of all time, Super Smash Bros is a party series published by gaming giant Nintendo which sees characters from their various franchises (alongside several third-party characters) coming together for some family-friendly violence. Beginning with the original title in 1999 for the Nintendo 64, Smash has seen several outings in the years since, such as the iconic Melee for the Gamecube, Brawl for the Wii, the unoriginally named Smash 4 for the WiiU and 3DS, and the most recent title, Ultimate, which released on the Switch in 2018. Ultimate was seen as a huge celebration for the franchise, boasting that EVERYONE IS HERE- all seventy + fighters, ranging from staples of the original game to guest fighters and DLC, were in the launch roster. Helmed by Masahiro Sakurai, Smash is a household name and staple for parties worldwide, with Ultimate being one of the highest-selling fighting games in the world at over 12 million units sold.

What's Fire Emblem?

Fire Emblem is Nintendo's forray into strategy- a turn based fantasy seires that's one of the longer-running staples of the company with its roots in 1990 for the Famicom. Despite a lot of pushing from Nintendo, Fire Emblem failed to take off in the West for many years, with the future of the franchise being uncertain after several successive commercial flops in the 2000s. With the franchise risking cancellation if it failed to find a market, the team made a Hail-Mary pass of epic proportions thanks to Fire Emblem Awakening in 2013- a launch title for the 3DS that finally marked the series getting a foothold in the West. Since then, the series has released three big games: Fates, which wasn't very good due to pulling a Pokemon and cutting the game into three separate releases and having an awful story, Heroes, a free to play mobile game, and Three Houses, which saw the series move to the Nintendo Switch. In Three Houses, you play as Byleth, a mercenary hired to teach one of three classes in a military academy that are all led by House Lords- Edlegard, Dimitri and Claude. Three Houses combined Persona-style time management for social interactions with the tactical gameplay of the series, and was a critical success for the company, selling over 3 million units.

Smash and Fire Emblem's shared history

Fire Emblem and Smash have a tied history, due to Smash being part of the reason the series even began releasing in the West (Fire Emblem had such a small presense before this that a lot of people unironically thought Marth and Ike were original characters made just for the game). Two characters, Roy(Who's also our boi) and Marth, were playable in Melee, with their popularity leading to Nintendo beginning localisation efforts of the other games. Since then, Fire Emblem has gotten consistent additional represetation in each mainline title:

• Brawl added Ike, protagonist of Path of Radiance and its sequel, Radiant Dawn. His massive two-handed sword and battle cry of "GREAT AETHER" made him stand out as a fun battler, with high damage potential but a weak mobility selection to balance him.
  
• 3DS/WiiU would bring back Marth, Ike and Roy, alongside newcomers Robin and Lucina from Awakening and, post-launch, Corrin from Fates as a DLC fighter. The Mii Fighter would also get an outfit themed on Awakening's co-protagonist Chrom as DLC.
  
• Ultimate would launch with all prior Fire Emblem characters as part of the launch roster with a new addition- Chrom making the transition from Mii Fighter to Echo Fighter (the game's term for characters who are moveset clones, in this case for Roy while Lucina was officially made an Echo Fighter for Marth). Ultimate also saw a large collection of music from the series being available alongside three stages.
  

Perhaps one of the largest showings of how tied together the two series are, especially regarding FE getting off the ground in the West, can be seen in the announcement trailer for a re-release of Shadow Dragon and the Blade of Light, the first game in the series as part of 30th anniversary celebrations. The trailer shows two young boys playing Melee and wondering where Roy and Marth are from, leading to them discovering Fire Emblem at large.
It's at the launch of Ultimate, before the DLC released, that I'd like to dovetail and cover some of the tensions between Smash and Fire Emblem, alongside the post-launch support Ultimate got.

Smash fans vs Fire Emblem Fans: A Short History

Smash fans and Fire Emblem fans don't get along a lot of the time, it must be said (though Smash fans don't get along with anyone very well). Many Smash fans blame FE as the reason for Smash's roster being stereotyped as "Anime swordboys," due to Nintendo almost entirely drawing from the sword-fighting leads of the series instead of an axe or lance fighter. (Hector from Blazing Blade is often called an example of what a more atypical Smash rep would be due to wielding a large axe). While most of the fighters try and do different things mechanically (Robin is almost entirely a spellcaster for instance, while Corrin can turn into a dragon), that Chrom and Lucina were both moveset clones didn't help this perception.
Many other Nintendo franchise fans aren't happy additionally at how Fire Emblem gets blatant preferential treatment by Nintendo. While it is justified as them wanting to show off the new FE games in each Smash title, that Fire Emblem is all but guaranteed to get new Smash rep every time a new game releases has embittered fans of older franchises that Nintendo hasn't given as much love lately (especially F-Zero, Metroid, Golden Sun and more). Sakurai being an open Fire Emblem fan hasn't helped the perception of an inherent bias for FE, though this is usually countered by the low representation for the Kirby and Kid Icarus franchises despite Sakurai's own roles in them.
By Ultimate, a growing sentiment is that Fire Emblem is getting over-represented, as with the addition of Chrom it was now the third-most represented series in Smash after only Mario and Pokemon. Given FE's niche status in the West for most of this time, fans weren't very happy at this, partly for the aforementioned reason of wanting their own favorite franchises to get a new fighter (Metroid fans at least got a bone when Ridley joined the Ultimate roster and when Dark Samus became an Echo Fighter for Samus).

Ultimate's Fighter Pass 1: HOES MAD

Following Ultimate's launch, Nintendo released a season pass for five characters who would be added post-launch. Smash getting new fighters is notable not just because it means a new fighter and that franchise getting the prestige of saying it got into Smash, but because it means new music that can be used (unless you're Cloud) during matches. For the most part, the DLC fighters got really positive reactions due to the majority being unexpected third-party choices. Case in point, most players never saw it coming when during the Game Awards 2018, the first fighter would be revealed to be Joker from Persona 5. He'd be followed in 2019 by three more reveals: Dragon Quest's Hero, representing the more iconic protagonists in the legendary JRPG franchise, Banjo and Kazooie from the cult Microsoft series, and Terry Bogard from the SNK franchise (shout out to Sakurai's history lesson that's pretending to be a showcase for Terry, which also involves Sakurai's story of how they got 50 tracks from the SNK games into Smash)
Also Sans from Undertale got in. This unironically led to an increase in Mii Gunner mains.
Terry and Hero would generate some salt in the West due to perceived antiquity and lack of pedegree/mainstream appeal (Hero being "another anime sword boy" didn't help), leading to a mocking response of HOES MAD from Hero's fans especially, though Terry's got in on the fun thanks to the pun involving Terry's home series, Fatal Fury.
Thanks to the four characters seen thus far, the expectation was that Fighters Pass 1 would be made entirely of third party characters, and as January 2020 rolled around the expectations were high as to who would get in. Sora from Kingdom Hearts was a popular choice, alongside Geno from the Mario RPG series. Some dumbasses even wanted Tracer from Overwatch, partly thanks to Blizzard all but openly begging Nintendo for a Smash invite. The one with the most consistent support was Dante from the Devil May Cry series. And a few accidental coincidences boosted the idea of Dante getting in:

• Dante's first three games had been ported to the Switch during Fighter Pass 1, with Devil May Cry 3 releasing in February 2020 soon after the final character was announced.
  
• Brian Hanford, who played V in Devil May Cry 5, had a slip of the tongue where he talked about Dante in the context of Smash (“to be part of Marvel Vs Capcom, or Super Smash Bros., would be huge, which is what Dante is gonna be,”), leading many to believe Brian had leaked Dante as the fifth fighter.
  
• Dante was experiencing a large-scale renaissance in popularity thanks to DMC 5 launching in early 2019, leading to him being on everyone's minds when it came to him joining the roster. Adding in his experience in fighting games already thanks to the Marvel vs Capcom games, it seemed set in stone that Dante would join the hallowed halls of Smash.
  
• To hype up the final character, Sakurai posed with three fingers outstretched. DMC fans took this as a hint of Dante, given that DMC 3 would be coming soon to Switch.
  
• On the same day as the character reveal, Capcom had planned a DMC announcement (it turned out to be an announcement that the game would have a co-op mode for Dante and Vergil in Bloody Palace).
  

With expectations set high, everyone tuned in on January 16th 2020 to see the final Season 1 character... and it was Byleth, the player character of Three Houses.
Another fucking Fire Emblem rep. The internet took it well, as you'd expect. Dante's fans just resorted to sad memes and jokes about one of Byleth's alt skins being "close enough" to let them pretend Byleth was Dante.

Smash likes to date around, and Fire Emblem is that girl that he always goes back to.
Byleth Joins The Roster: The Salt Mines Floweth

Byleth's announcement generates some of the most negative reactions to a Smash fighter yet seen, boasting the largest like-dislike ratios of Ultimate's DLC, and only matched for disliked announcements across the entire franchise by Corrin.
A lot of people weren't happy at Byleth's inclusion, suffice to say, though like Terry and Hero the HOES MAD crowd came back for another go around. It didn't help how utterly predictable it was given it was a historical recreation of Corrin's inclusion in WiiU/3DS. While Byleth had been predicted, many expected the mechanical variance would be that Byleth would function similar to the Pokemon Trainer (who swaps between the Gen 1 Pokemon) in that Byleth would command Claude, Dimitri and Edlegard from the sidelines. Instead, Byleth had four weapons- three representing each of the House Leaders alongside their own custom whip-sword, the Sword of the Creator. That being said, at least Nintendo were somewhat self aware about it this time, given the reveal had supporting character Sothis mock Byleth for losing a fight by going "Too many swordsmen, were there?" as a way to reveal that Byleth's female variant would join the roster.
While Byleth did offer some mechanical variety from the other FE reps, some were disappointed that Byleth specifically was representing Three Houses, due to Byleth's personality not being one of their selling points. Perhaps it would have been more preferable to have one of the House Leaders instead represent the game, but given how any one being selected would have been seen as favoritism of the Leaders (and the arguments about said Leaders being quite vicious), Byleth was the safest choice, if perhaps the most predictable. Fans of Xenoblade 2 were also unhappy at clear bias on Sakurai's part, given he'd previously said Rex, the MC, was from too new a game to qualify for a roster slot in Ultimate. In comparrison, Sakurai admitted in his presentation of Byleth that he pestered the developers to get early access copies of Three Houses to get to plan out Byleth's moveset, which only helped the idea of Fire Emblem operating on different rules from other series.
Overall, Byleth was seen as a disappointing inclusion to wrap up the Fighters Pass, with the announcement honestly being more notable for the memes about the salt over the character themself. (My favorites were the ones about Joker adding yet another teacher to his harem) After the shock reveals from relatively niche series such as Persona and SNK, Byleth was generally felt to be an overwhelmingly safe option to close on. While Sakurai did announce Fighters Pass 2 in the same event, promising six more DLC characters for Ultimate, a lot of fans from different franchises were still let down given how unpredictable the first wave had been.

Fighters Pass 2 and the Byleth aftermath

Byleth would launch a few weeks later and the reception was largely "Yeah they're fine," after an initial launch of "Yeah you're fuckin' overtuned and overpowered." They got some people who main them, others swore off them, much like any other DLC character in a fighting game, and the salt gradually diminished.
In February of 2020, Sakurai would tacitly admit during a Famitsu article about Byleth's development that he was aware of the criticism about the addition, saying that he doesn't have as much power over roster choices as people like to believe (Byleth apparently snubbed a fighter he was much more enthusiastic about) but that he agreed that there were a few too many sword fighters and Fire Emblem representatives specifically in the game. Given Sakurai has said Smash will never have a roster as large as Ultimate again, it's likely some of Fire Emblem's representation will be cut down in future games as part of this culling.

That being said, I understand. First and foremost: there are too many Fire Emblem characters; and what’s more there are too many sword-users.

So far, three of the six planned characters for Fighter's Pass 2 have been released, with Min-Min from the Arms series coming first, Steve from Minecraft literally breaking Twitter (Steve's addition could be a post of its own with how much salt he generated) and the OG Anime Sword Boy, the One Winged Angel himself in Sephiroth being announced at the Game Awards 2020. We're still waiting for updates on when the fourth fighter will be revealed and who they may be, but regardless of who it is, there will always be a few mad hoes in the background.
Also Geno finally got into Smash!... As a Mii skin which led to the character's fanbase collectively reaching for a noose. These hoes weren't even that mad, it was mostly just sad.
Still. At least it's better than whatever the Walluigi mains are up to.
Thanks for reading.

I hope you've got some time and a snack, because this one is going to be super long, as the events that follow span from late 2019 to last week. As per the rules, all names are altered herein.
Ok, so here's the backstory. My STBXW was my high school sweetheart. We started dating in 1992 when we were both 17 (we're both 45 now) and have been together ever since. She's the only woman I've ever been with my entire life. We married 5 years later at 22, fresh out of college. A year later, we had our 1st of two children, both boys. (22 and 17) 23 years I gave to her. Built her a house. Worked my ass off to give her the life she wanted. Sure, we had rough patches, but what marriage doesn't? Even in the worst of times, we found a way to pull through and come out the other side better. Which made the discovery of her affair that much more jarring.
Flashback to March 2020, when I 1st got the feeling something was "off". For a good 2 months prior, we were in a funk. I was on the mend from reconstructive knee surgery (blew out my ACL fall 2019) but still lacking in movement. At the time I only had about 55% range of motion on my knee. This took a toll on quite a lot in the house. I was out on worker's comp, as I had been injured on the job, and I was unable to do my usual household duties, so a lot got backed up. My sons would do what they could, but tasks only I was capable of doing had to be put on the back burner, or my wife had to do, which she wasn't pleased with. Things also crawled to a stand still in the bedroom between us. It had already slowed down prior to my injury, but in the state I was in at the time it completely stopped.
During these months, she (we'll call her Sue) was spending more time "hanging with co-workers" after work. Between November 2019 to March 2020 it was a regular occurrence for her. Naturally, I thought nothing of it. I've never in the 23 years I'd been with her had any reason to worry or not trust her. She has her friends, I have mine, and we have mutual. I'd go hang out with my friends all the time and there was no issue. It was all above board. It was around January of this year that I noticed something odd. Sue started getting noticeably distant with me. Sure, we were in a funk, but she'd never deny me affection to that point. The usual hugs and kisses she'd give me came to a halt. Her phone was attached to her hand long before my suspicion grew, but she'd always share and show me things she'd discovered on the web. DIY ideas and recipes on Pintrest, memes, all kinds of stuff. But she was now being guarded about her phone. Even her interactions with me became more snippy, as if she couldn't be bothered.
So we're now in March. Covid has arrived and New York City is locked down. Our chosen careers fall under the "essential" designation, so neither of us have to work from home. I'd just been recently cleared to return to work after 5 months on the shelf, and I was eager to get back after it, as 5 months on my ass rehabing my knee and not being able to do physical stuff drove me nuts. (For context, I enjoy physical activities. I'm an avid martial artist and I'm typically in the gym 4 days a week, on top of all of the home projects I did.) Within a week or 2 of the lockdown, my STBXW alerts me that she's going to have to start putting in extra hours. Again, I think nothing of this because of her field. Of course, I was under the assumption it'd be every other day, but no. It was every day. And not just an hour or 2. She'd come home 3 or more hours later, and go straight to the shower, spend a little time with me, a little time with our 17 y/o (22 year old lives with his GF crosstown) and then go to bed. As I'm able to support myself on my knee better, we started getting intimate again, but as you'd probably guess she wasn't mentally or emotionally present for it, which I noticed quickly.
So by early April, the picture started getting clearer to me. All of the signs were pointing to the idea that she was having an affair. That's when I decided I needed to find answers. So I scoured the internet on things I should be looking for. Signs of infidelity in one's partner, and sure enough she was pretty much ticking all of the boxes on such behavior. So then my search inquiry advanced to how to I find proof. I started with her social media. Looking at her FB entries from months prior, it's pretty much the usual. Pics of us and our sons, pics with her and her friends, and a more then a few pics of her nights out with co-workers. In these pics, it's a mixed bag of her closets friends from work, and a couple folk I've never met from her work. But I see one recurring thing in a number of these pics, one guy. In every picture he's in, he's rather uncomfortably close to her. His arm is around her shoulder, or his hand on her lower back. WAY to close for a guy I've never personally met. Needless to say that put a sour taste in my mouth.
But that wasn't the worst of it.
No, no, no. The worst was the fact that apparently, this dude is a friend of hers on FB and followers her on IG. So I go to look up his FB account and wouldn't you know it, I'm blocked. Why the hell am I blocked from seeing this guy's FB account, but he's friends with her on FB. Yep. Now I'm in Batman detective mode. At that point, I wasn't even trying to deny it. I knew she was cheating on me with this guy. My mission was to find out for how long. And over the course of April and May, that's what I did. You know I never had any clue the depth of info you could secure from phone, text and email records up until then. We have a family plan cellphone package, and I was able to pull up quite a bit of data. My STBXW's data history was telling. The 2 most frequent numbers she had interacted with from October 2019 to April 2020 was my own, and a number I'd never seen before. Take a wild guess who's number it was? A quick check on google and I confirmed it was the dude from the photos who blocked me on FB. (We'll call him POS, cuz that's what he is.) Again, the picture becomes even clearer at this point. But a lot of their messages and texts were disjointed, which meant she was deleting a lot of them. I knew she was cheating on me with this guy, but nothing in the data could serve as a smoking gun. I needed more evidence.
It's at this point that I tell my best friend Oz what I had found. He asked me did I confront her with what I had, and I said no because I felt like it wasn't enough. That's when he told me about an app that I could download to apparently spy on her communications in real time. I won't say the name as I don't know the rules on that here. I got it installed, sync up my data plan, and waited. Within days of doing so, I finally saw it. A text string between the 2 of them talking about how much fun they'd had the previous night, and making plans to do it again that weekend. Boom. Gut punch. To say I was completely devastating was an understatement. I guess that moment counts as my "D-Day", and for the next 2 days after I was just broken. I actively distanced myself from her those 2 days immediately after d-day, which she was noticeably shaking by. She'd try to console me and ask me what was wrong, but I'd brush it off and leave her presence. I couldn't even look at her. This woman, who I gave 23 years of my life to. Who I have given everything I could and more to as a husband, and she stepped outside of our marriage for a guy just 5 years older then our eldest son. By the 3rd day, I wasn't even sad anymore, I was pissed.
I contacted Oz to let him know my suspicion was confirmed, and he asked me had I confronted her yet. My answer was no, and I told him I wanted payback. I didn't want to just divorce her, I wanted to destroy her. I wanted to leave her life in shambles and fucking ruin her. It was going to take time to do so, and I devised a plan. In my readings and research on infidelity, I had saw a quote that resonated with me that went "the enemy of infidelity is unpredictability". Or something to that ilk. That was going to be the basis of my plan. I was going to make her life hell on wheels, while also secretly planning my exit strategy.
So we're now in early June, and I've still got the app installed. Pretty much every night, I'm gathering as much data as I can seeing their back and forth messages. They're talking like it's a full blown relationship they're in. Sexting, lovey dovey romantic stuff, nudes, the whole fucking bag. At that point I had stopped looking at any of it, I was just collecting info and cataloging on my private FPS server. Meanwhile, I start doing things "out of the ordinary". I start going out at odd times. I start coming home even later then she does. In her presence, I'm on my phone a lot more then usual and when she asks "what are you up to?" I just simply say "just stuff" and put my phone away. I'd also changed my log in info on everything, so she couldn't access any of my stuff. Mind you, for our entire marriage, we'd never hid anything from each other. But right around I'm assuming the start of her affair, she'd changed her password on FB, as well as on her phone stating "she had to because of the security breaches in recent months." Yea, really nice cover for hiding your affair from your husband. Anyway, I'd clued Oz in on my plan, as well as telling my older (and only) sister and two more of my closest friends what was going on. These are people I trust with my life, and I swore them to secrecy. (For context, Oz and I have been friends since we were kids. The other of our friends Joey and Nina we've known since High School. Make note of Nina, she comes into play down the road.)
July comes, and my STBXW is in full paranoia mode. She's texting and calling me a lot more frequently now, asking me if I'm going to be home when she's gets home, when am I coming home while she is and I'm not, asking me what am I up to, the works. I can see the seed planted in her head the month prior is starting to sprout, especially in her communication with POS. She's confiding in him her doubt and confusion. Telling him that I'M getting cold and distant. The fucking nerve of this woman!!! In the interim of these interactions with POS, she suggests that maybe they should stop meeting up at our house because she has no idea if I'd just show up, confirming that yes, she's had this fuckwad in my home. Thanks, Sue! POS asks her in that specific communication was she worried about me potentially cheating on her, which actually pissed her off. I can't even begin to describe the level of joy and how many laughs I got out of reading that exchange. My cheating wife arguing with her affair partner over if she's mad her husband could be cheating on her. Oh the fucking irony. Now bare in mind, I'm not hooking up with anyone. When I leave, I'm usually at Oz or Joey's throwing back some booze, watching fights and spending time with my bros, or at my big sis' house hanging with her and my BIL, who's like an older brother to me. My sis is 52 and her hubby is 58. She had told him about my STBXW's infidelity, but not of my plan. Couldn't risk it as he's a bit of a blabber mouth.
We'll fast forward now to October. That's when things seriously pick up. I've been in my "faux affair" for 3 months now, and Sue is hyper aware of the fact that I'm actively pulling away from her. It's been as long as the day I enacted my plan until the day she "confronted" me, October 20th, 2020 that I'd even touched her. No hugs. No kisses. No initiation of intimacy. Nothing. Not like she needed it, she was still fucking POS, just at his place or at motels. So that afternoon, she calls me at work, which wasn't rare before all this began, but certainly hadn't happened in a while and asks me to come straight home after work saying she had "something important to tell me." I'm not gonna lie to you all, I half believed she was going to come clean about her infidelity, but she of course didn't. Instead, I get home to her asking me was I unhappy with her. The. Fucking. Nerve. She sights the fact that I've been spending way to much time away from home, I don't show her affection anymore and our sex life has completely died. She tells me she's worried I'm pushing her away because I was resentful of how she treated me the months I was rehabbing my knee. And then came the punchline. She fucking asked if I was cheating on her. Folks, I fell out on the floor laughing hysterically. And when I say hysterically I mean Joker laughing gas hysterical. On the surface it looked like (to her assuming) it was me laughing off the notion of being unfaithful, but it was of course actually me laughing at the sheer irony of what was happening in front of my eyes. I'm tearing up, pounding on the floor in complete hysterics for a good 2 minutes before I compose myself enough to answer. I sit up and look her in the eyes for the 1st time in months shaking my head, but I don't give her and answer. I stand up, brush myself off, kiss the top of her head and go about settling in for the night.
Later that night, as I'm in my office I decide you know what? Given the brevity of what happened, I wanted to see what she was telling him. So I fire up the app and sure enough they're actually texting in real time. She tells POS "I know he's cheating on me. I asked him tonight and he literally laughed in my face. He fell on the floor and laughed for like 5 minutes. (It wasn't 5 minutes obviously.) He doesn't even care how I feel anymore. I don't know how or why, but he's gone. I know I've lost him. This is karma, I know it." The smile I had on my face reading that must've resemble the Cheshire Cat. She was breaking. POS attempted to console her, saying that if I cared enough for her, she wouldn't have had come to him to give her what I wasn't giving her, but the tone of her responses told me she was having doubt now. She had the nerve to step out of our marriage because I was unable to fulfill my role as a husband due to legitimate injury, and kept the affair going for at that point nearly an entire year, but the idea of her losing me to another woman was enough to make her waver? What a fucking weakling.
Now, during all of this I was also exacting the 2nd part of my plan for payback, getting all of my affairs in order financially. In September, I had met with a family attorney to get the ball rolling on divorce paper, with the mountain of evidence I'd piled up to that point. New York is an "at fault" state as far as Divorce, and the overwhelming amount of proof I'd gathered displaying Sue's infidelity pretty much solidified I could nail her to the fucking wall in a divorce case. My lawyer instructed me to get all of my financials in order in preparation for whatever division of assets might come as result. I went one better then that, secretly pulling all of my money out of our joint account and putting it in my personal account. I also started shopping around for an apartment as part of "phase 2".
We're now in November, and I've not changed my behavior. In fact, I've ramped it up. This is where my friend Nina comes into play. For context, Nina and Sue have never been what you call "close". I met Nina freshman year of high school 2 years before I met Sue. Even way back then, Sue has seen Nina as a "threat", as she's my closest female friend. There's always been an implied "I don't trust her" from Sue regarding Nina. She's never addressed it directly, but it's obvious to anyone who pays attention. Conversely, Nina's never been a big fan of Sue. Early in me and Sue's relationship, Nina called to attention to me how Sue was pretty much imposing herself into our little "square" of friends, whereas I didn't do the same with Sue's set of friends. That irked Nina because she knew why Sue was doing it, her. Among Sue's circle even now, there are no male friends...aside from POS. Whereas Nina is the only girl in my "square".
Nina had been "stuck" overseas due to the virus, and finally returned to NYC November 3rd. Oz, Joey and I decided we were gonna celebrate her return with a night at Joey's house for dinner and drinks. (There was only 5 of us, Oz, Joey, Joey's wife...who is also Nina's sister, Nina and myself. Sticking to CDC guidelines. We take the rona VERY seriously.) Nina, being the evil mastermind she is, comes up with an evil idea to trigger Sue. She suggested we take some photos in the same vein of the photos I discovered of Sue and POS months prior...and post them to my FB. And that's just what we did. It wasn't until the 5th that Sue got wind of it, as I'm guessing a few friends noticed my updates and saw how "uncomfortably" close I was with Nina. This really fucked her mind up, because she still believed I was cheating, and I can almost guarantee she "wanted" to accuse Nina, but she knew that Nina had been stuck in Europe for the majority of the year. Still didn't stop her from attempting to dress me down that night for being so as she said "handsy" in the pics. I saw this as a golden opportunity to deliver the the lead jab for my knockout blow. I say "So what about the pics with you and POS from last year? He was pretty handsy in them. But did you see me get bent out of shape over it?"
Dear in headlights. It was the 1st time I even mentioned the dude's name throughout all of this. The hamster wheel in her head started reeling in real time as she tried to to explain away those pics. To that point she hadn't even known I saw them, that's little I use FB. When I actually do post something it's like an event to people, which is why the pics with Nina specifically got so much traction among our circles. And explain away she did. "He's that way with everyone." "He's just a really friendly guy." "I can see how it looks, but there's nothing their." "I'm sorry if those pics hurt you. I'll delete them." No, no...the pics aren't what hurt me. The year you've been fucking the dude whilst lying to me that you're working extra hours and hanging with friends is what hurt me. But vengeance, as Lt. Comm. Warf from Star Trek: TNG so famously said "is a dish best served cold." From that night, Sue was being extra specially clingy and attentive to me. Like, annoyingly so. She's try to initiate affection and intimacy with me and I'd stonewall her at every chance. All the while, I'm still archiving everything she's saying to POS. Mind you by this point I'd long since gone numb. Any desire I might have had to save my marriage was dead. I'd checked out the day I enacted the 1st phase of my plan.
She's confiding in him that I've gotten worse. That she doesn't know what to do, and she feels like I absolutely hate her. (I do.) Then comes the bombshell. She says she can't see him anymore. The guilt is to much for her, and she feels like karma is suffocating her. She can't risk losing me. She says that she loves POS deeply, but she "still in love" with me, and she has to save her marriage before she loses me. No, my dear...you're about 8 months to late for that. POS loses his shit, saying such lovely things as "He doesn't love you the way I love you." and "You're making a mistake, you can't just throw me away like this." That text chain would be the last they'd have until about 3 weeks ago. Throughout the remainder of November into December, Sue is tuck in limbo. She's trying to gauge where my headspace is and is still unable to tell if I'm actually being unfaithful. Meanwhile, POS is steadily blowing her phone up daily, but she's not responding to him. I'd see her check her phone often, the quickly put it away. Meanwhile, phase 2 of the plan was now officially complete. The divorce papers were done. I'd found me a studio apartment in Co-Op City (New Yorkers will know the area) and signed a 2 year lease on it. All of my money was in my personal account. I was ready to throw my haymaker.
So we're now at Thanksgiving. My oldest and his GF were hosting a small gathering of our immediate families. So them (Oldest and his GF), Oldest's GF's parents (she's an only child) myself, Sue and our youngest. We have a great night. My oldest's GF is studying to be a chef, and she did all the cooking herself. The girl can fuckin' cook lemme tell ya'. As I had to keep up appearances of nothing being wrong between Sue and I, I initiated affection with her several times that evening. Kisses on the cheek. Cute lil' hugs. Wrapping my arms around her shoulders from behind. The gestures didn't go unnoticed by her, as she reveled in it. Bare in mind, this was the 1st time I touched this woman since I kissed the top of her head the night she "confronted" me in October...so just about 2 months. Not gonna lie, I felt repulsed doing it. But I had to. I couldn't risk the plan, and me being distant to her in the face of my boys, my oldest's GF and her parents would set off alarms. So my youngest decides he wants to stay over with his big bro for the night, so Sue and I head home. On the drive home, she thanks me for being so good to her, and says "I don't know what you're going through, baby. But I'm here for you." I had to hold off busting out in maniacal laughter again, and responded saying. "I know. I just need time."
So for the 1st time realistically since Springtime, we had sex that night. I figured fuck it, with what I'm about to do, may as well get some action before I delete her from my existence. I won't go into detail, but it wasn't "love making". When I was finished she was a lump of flesh laying their trying to figure out the direction of the truck that ran her over. No cuddling or anything after. I just got up, showered and and went to go sleep in my office. To her confusion though, I used a condom. 1st time 2 damn decades I did. She was definitely perplexed by it, but she didn't ask questions. (Sure as hell wasn't going raw in her knowing that she'd been doing so with POS for months at that point.) I wake up the next day and check my handy dandy spy app, and for the 1st time in weeks, she responded to POS. Dude went full novella. He professed his love for her. Said she was wasting her time trying to rekindle a flame in me that died. That she'd been "in a prison" with me for 23 years and deserved to experience the love and affection of a man who would cherish her. Mind you, this dude is 27 fuckin' years old. Five years older then our oldest son. And he's THAT sprung on a 45 y/o married mother of 2? What a grade-A, high quality SIMP. She chose to blow up our marriage and destroy the home we'd built for this dude? Pretty boy with a "soft side"? HAAAA!!!
She responded saying pretty much the same thing she said when last they talked. That she loves him, and enjoyed their time together, but she can't lose me. I'm still the love of her life, but she'll always have a place for him in her heart. That they can still be friends if he chooses, but the physical relationship between them is over. He begged her to see him one last time that week, and yep...you guessed it, she said yes. One more for the road, right? Who am I to say anything, that's what I did to her the previous night. Of course I added all of that to the archive I'd compiled. December 4th is when phase 3, the final phase of operation "Shinobi Ghost" started. The divorce papers where in hand. My new place or residence was set up. Now I had to slowly start moving me stuff out of the house. But 1st, I had to break the news to my boys. I called my oldest to the house that Friday night, had them join me in my office...and laid everything on that table. Not the specifics, but that there mother had been cheating on me for over a year, and I was going to be filing for divorce soon. My 17 year old was especially shaken up by this, because he himself had recently experienced his 1st taste of infidelity. Yep, his 1st GF had cheated on him just 4 months prior. Seeing his heart broken a 2nd time at the idea that his own mother was capable of doing this hit him hard. My oldest took it a lot better, and suggested taking his brother in to live with him until this blows over, to which I agreed.
We packed up some of his stuff, and he asked me was I gonna be ok. I told him "Yes, son. I'm going to be alright. And so are you. We're going to be alright. I promise." And then they were off. The hardest part was now over, and it was now time to arm the nukes. Over the next few weeks, day by day Oz would help me get a little of my most sensitive stuff out of the house. Gave him a list of all of the definite stuff to grab while Sue and I were at work and left him the spare key. This was all stuff Sue wouldn't notice was missing unless you told her it was gone. I'd also gotten a new phone and phone number, and told everyone who needed to know (Oz, Joey, Nina, My boys, big sis and my mother) my new contact info. Meanwhile, I'm keeping up the rouse with Sue and she's non the wiser. trickling bits and pieces of affection to her just to keep her off of the trail, whilst she's still in contact with POS. Not to the extent that they'd been prior, but there's still an emotional thing happening. The fog is feint, but it's still there. All the while, I gather everything, and I do mean everything. Every bit of data I've archived since I started the plan, call logs, texts, pics, emails...everything, and start making printouts. Folks, I must have spent over a $1500 on staples supplies. Printer ink, paper, binders, the works. And I cataloged everything in order, from the beginning of the affair until that last bit 2 weeks ago, December 16th in the binders. 14 of them.
I then put each one in a box, and gift wrapped each, addressing them to various people. My mother (my father passed 7 years ago), her parents, her 2 sister, her brother, her HR department (Did I forget to mention POS works for the same company, and there's an expressed rule against inter-company relationships because of the nature of what she does?), several of her friends, POS AND POS's parents. Lugged all of those fuckers to the post office and shipped them all out December 16th. ETA for delivery, December 22-24th. PERFECT. So we're now at Christmas Eve. Sue comes home around the usual time, no idea if she'd seen POS, I'd stop tracking her on the app the 18th. Figure I'd gotten all the mileage I needed from it. As per usual, she showers, hangs out with me a bit, I blow her back out on the living room couch (I know, I'm a fucking asshole) and she turns in for the night. The final phase was upon me at long last. The nuke I'd been arming since June was finally about to launched. In the middle of the night, I woke up and wrapped up one of the 3 remaining binders, with the divorce papers taped to the inside cover, and set it on my side of the bed with a note note that said "Merry Christmas" on it. Next to it I left my old phone, and the business card of my lawyer. I packed up the remainder of my most needed items, enough to fill 2 backpacks, and I left my home...that I spent 23 years in, for the last time.
That my friends, was one week ago. To Sue I am completely off the grid. Gone. Shadow ghosted. She's blocked on FB, but still hasn't blocked me for some reason, so I'm keeping tabs on the fallout. It's absolutely glorious. My packages have reached everyone I sent them out to, and Sue is getting crucified. Her youngest sister completely dressed her down. Both of her parents have condemned her. My mom absolutely destroyed her. Like holy shit, I know my mom has a mean streak...but the things she called Sue were un-fucking-holy. She's been frantically trying to find out if anyone knows where I am, but those that due, aren't saying a word. All over her FB feed she's desperately trying to reach me, because I'm guessing she knows I'm likely looking. But I'm not saying a fucking word to her without my lawyer present. That'll be the next time I share oxygen with her. She's got no way of spinning the narrative to paint me as the bad guy, because I've exposed her to everyone who matters to her. And from what a mutual friend who works in the same company as her, she and POS apparently are being put on administrative leave as of tomorrow, so yea...chances are she'll be going into 2021 unemployed. As for the the final 2 binders, well...one has been turned over to my lawyer as my final bit of evidence for my impending divorce, and the last one I put in my storage unit to be burned in Joey's fire pit when the divorce is final.
Do I feel guilty about this? No. Not even in the slightest. 23 years I did right by this woman. I gave her the home she wanted. I gave her the family she wanted. I gave her the life I felt we both deserved, and I loved her unconditionally. Never have I faltered. Never have I strayed. Never have I even entertained the notion of breaking my vows. When an issue came up that I felt was effecting our marriage, I came to her and told her, and we sorted it out as best we could. She opted to find comfort in another man's bed. Rather then come to me and say she was unhappy with our sex life at the time, she decided to step out with a young punk who gave her the tingles. So no, I have no sympathy for what I did, or for her. She can burn in hell for all I care. The most I stand to lose is my house, a car and maybe a couple hundred bucks a month in alimony, but seeing as the divorce is filed under the statute of adultery and NYS is At Fault, that might get waved with the insurmountable about of evidence I've provided. As far as I'm concerned, she's dead to me and I'm never looking back.
TL:DR - Wife of 23 years had a 1 year long affair with a co-worker 18 years younger then her. Pretended to be in an affair myself while collecting evidence of hers for the majority of 2020. Had divorce papers drawn up early Fall. Compiled all the evidence in early December. Shipped binders full of the evidence to everyone near and dear to her to arrive around Christmas Eve. Left one binder with the divorce notice attached inside on my pillow, as well as my phone and lawyer's card as she slept Christmas Eve. Completely went off the grid on her as her life completely imploded the following days after Christmas.
Quick edit: NYS is not fully "at fault". Under certain circumstances a divorce can be filed at fault, of which my lawyer has informed me my case falls under. I'll be meeting the STBXW with her lawyer tomorrow. I'm guessing I'll just update here.
2nd Edit: To the guy on Youtube and in my PM who said I got cucked for over a year, and all of my evidence will not be submittable in court claiming he's a "retired PI" with 20 years experience, you can fuck right the fuck off. Had a quick word on the matter with my lawyer earlier today (1/5/21) and everything provided outside of the phone calls are valid. Find something better to do with your time then harassing me, buddy.
UPDATE: https://www.reddit.com/useKermit_Defrogg/comments/ksuv4t/update_fooled_my_cheating_stbxw_into_thinking_i/
UPDATE 2: Shit jus got even worse...
STBXW of 23 years just tried to kill herself last night : Kermit_Defrogg (reddit.com)

Hi /FortniteBR,
Thanks for your patience as we finalised the prizes for the winners! We get thousands of posts/comments on this subreddit each week, but you have selected your best. The nominations have been reviewed, the votes tallied and we’re ready to reveal your best of 2020.
Thank you to everyone for the nominations and for voting!
So, without further delay:

THE WINNERS ARE...

CATEGORY	WINNER	POST
Most Valuable Redditor	u/thesquatingdog	Click to View Profile
Best Play	u/mrsleepy76	Click to View Post
Best Cinematic	u/YT_HoodieXD	Click to View Post
Most 'Marvellous' Post	u/lawrenceow	Click to View Post
Best Meme	u/LonesoftGames	Click to View Post
Best Meta Discussion	u/Professional_Account	Click to View Post
Most Funny Clip	u/ReflectiveRuby	Click to View Post
Most Nostalgic	u/Nexiph	Click to View Post
Best Thread	u/Dash_The_Moth	Click to View Post
Best Comment	u/legendwolfA	Click to View Post
Best Content Creator	u/stinkychaps	Click to View Profile
Best Concept	u/Dennidavidson	Click to View Post
Best Artistic Post	u/RuffianSFM	Click to View Post

Click to view the other nominees

PRIZES

How can we forget the important stuff?
A recap of the prizes:

• Special flair to alert everyone of your epic status
• Bragging rights for the duration of 2021
• Special role in Discord for 2021
• Reddit Premium / Gold (will be awarded to the winning post or comment within the next week)

To claim your discord flair, reach out to the team via the Discord modmail with your Discord ID.
Don't forget to drop by the winners posts or comments and share the love! Keep posting and who knows, maybe you'll be the best of 2021! :)
/FortniteBR Mods

Rules Of Time Machine Operation:
​
1\. No booty calls on famous historical figures.
2\. No visiting the red light district of Paris in the early 19th century and asking around for Fantime, who is a fictional character might I add.
3\. No getting famous historical figures blackout drunk and leaving them extremely confused in the morning when they wake up in their bed, on someone else's roof, wearing nothing but a floral print muumuu and a thong, surrounded by a stolen department store mannequin, a bajillion potatoes, and 600 pounds of those little rubber erasers that come on the tops of pencils.
4\. No setting "Amazing Grace" to a snappy disco beat.
4a\. Or the US national anthem.
4b\. Or anyone else's national anthem.
5\. No trolling random paranoiacs.
6\. No scaring the shit out of James Cameron by suddenly appearing in front of him in full Terminator cosplay before the movie is even released.
7\. No pantsing Adolf Hitler, no matter how much he deserves it.
7a\. No pantsing Joseph Stalin, either. Unless you have a death wish.
7b\. No pantsing Rasputin. Now that you've seen what he's packing, the feelings of inadequacy should be sufficient punishment.
7c\. NO PANTSING HISTORICAL FIGURES, PERIOD
7d\. Or recent ones. I don't care HOW much Bill Clinton was willing to pay, and frankly I don't want to know.
8\. No giving Napoleon a 1980s sports almanac. (I mean, it's not like he'd be able to use it.)
9\. No crashing Jesus' crucifixion to sell merch.
10\. No appearing in the background of every famous photograph in the Louvre and/or the Smithsonian. Especially not while dabbing.
11\. No interfering with the production of Back To The Future. Especially not so that Doc Brown gets a time-traveling Oscar Meyer Weinermobile. I don't care HOW much money you would have made in product placement.
12\. No giving free abortions to the mothers of people you hate.
13\. No giving young Donald Trump a sports almanac. Alternate Hill Valley was bad. Scaling it up to America size is worse.
14\. No giving Stanislav Petrov laxative on 26 September 1983.
14a\. No getting Stanislav Petrov extremely drunk on 25 September 1983.
14b\. STOP SCREWING WITH STANISLAV PETROV ARE YOU FUCKING INSANE
15\. No putting joy buzzers in Nikola Tesla's shoes. Even if he reverse-engineered them and advanced the study of electrical engineering by several decades.
16\. No writing Walter Cronkite a rambling 148-character letter accusing him of liberal bias.
17\. As tempting as it is, no giving Donald Trump's mother an abortion. We do NOT want to repeat the Emperor Gorsuch incident.
18\. No writing Stonewall Jackson a letter composed of the word "Bitch" written once at the top of the page. While his face was hilarious, him killing half his administration in a series of duels was not.
19\. No trolling your past self by telling lies about the future.
20\. No using Tesla coils to impersonate Greek or Norse gods. Especially not in front of ancient Greeks or Vikings.
21\. No trolling drunken turn-of-the-20th-century PIs by bringing them to flying cities in alternate timelines.
22\. No trolling people in ugly sweaters by bringing them to Atlantis.
23\. 1000 tons of cordite + Library of Alexandria = Bad idea.
24\. No impersonating an interior designer solely to change Napoleon's fate. (He didn't even die from that, you fool, he died from stomach cancer.)
25\. No giving FDR a mech suit, as awesome as it would be.
26\. No making "Don't Blame Me, I Voted For Al Smith" bumper stickers.
27\. Wall Street is off limits. As is Vegas, Reno, Monte Carlo, and sports betting venues.
28\. No convincing Steve Jobs to put a rotary dial on the IPhone, even if it WOULD be "one simple control".
29\. No giving Isaac Newton copies of Einstein's theories. The 20th century is too early for space empires. (No matter how delicious the spices from Alpha Centauri are. We're looking at you, Fred. Seek help.)
30\. No misusing hazmat equipment and personal music players to troll Asimov, Henlein, or any other science fiction writers.
31\. CREATION OF AI-EQUIPPED BOWLER HATS IS STRICTLY PROHIBITED. ANY SUCH ITEMS ARE TO BE DESTROYED ON SIGHT.
32\. No, you may not have a pet T. Rex. They're extremely large and exclusively carnivorous, so what makes you think that'd be a good idea in the slightest?
32a\. However, it turns out velociraptors (the tiny feathered kind), when raised from an egg, make awesome pets, being loyal, obedient, and sweet.
32b\. Never mind, they swarmed Janet's boyfriend and killed him when he hit her. Serves him right, but this behavior is shared by wolves raised in captivity, and velociraptors are clearly not pet material any more than timber wolves are. A long-term breeding program is underway to resolve this issue.
33\. Collecting samples of extinct plants for scientific study is great. Office plants, OK. Trolling paleobotanist friends, not so much.
34\. To the person who sent the baby raptors to Chris Pratt: You're lucky that Universal Studios has leaped on them as their new PR stars. You're doubly lucky that it was love at first sight between them and Raptor Lord. As such, we will let you keep your job. But in light of 32b, if they kill anyone, you will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law and we will cooperate with the investigators.
35\. No spiking Richard Nixon's drinks with shrooms, LSD, THC, AIDS, H1N1, hydrochloric acid, or COVID-19. Or sodium pentothal, no matter how educational it would be.
36\. No scandalizing Queen Victoria. ESPECIALLY not by streaking through the Buckingham Palace gardens.
36a\. Or Queen Elizabeth I, unless you WANT your head chopped off. And not necessarily the one on your shoulders, either.
37\. No showing dubstep music to Father Coghlin. Even if he likes it.
38\. No traumatizing H.P. Lovecraft with hentai. Especially not if it's fanart of his works.
39\. No prematurely inventing hentai.
40\. No showing hentai to Father Coghlin. While him flying off the chain was funny, the anti-Japanese-American lynch mobs he incited were not. The person responsible no longer works here, and is serving time in prison.
41\. No slipping sodium pentothal to any member of the Borgia family.
42\. No slipping the production staff of Raiders Of The Lost Ark drugs and convincing them to have Indy use a towel instead of a bullwhip.
43\. No convincing Gavro Princip, Richard Nixon, or Keemstar to do something different with their life. (Especially not Keemstar, who's a dictator in many other timelines.)
44\. President Jeffery Dahmer = bad idea.
45\. No giving King Gustavus Adolphus of Sweden coke-bottle glasses, even if he needs them. It kind of ruins the effect in paintings.
46\. No giving King Arthur and his knights Harleys.
47\. No giving the biblical David a motorcycle with the muffler removed, even it means that his Triumph would be heard throughout the land.
48\. No appearing in history books. Especially not as the guy in the Carmen Miranda hat T-posing in the background of the famous "V-J Day In Times Square" photo, just behind and to the left of the kissing couple.
49\. No making David Bowie a Roman Emperor and calling him Fablius. Even if he lived up to his name.
50\. No impersonating the court jester in medieval times, before going full Heath Ledger Joker. Nobody has tried this yet, but we want to put it out there anyway.
51\. No streaking at the Somme. Running around naked IN ACTIVE WARZONES tends to be a bad idea.
52\. No doing your best Lucky Luciano impression in the background of the "Abbey Road" cover.
53\. No streaking in the background of the "Abbey Road" cover.
54\. No switching President Theodore Roosevelt's speech commemorating the construction of the Panama Canal with Franklin Delano Roosevelt's "This Day Will Live In Infamy" speech, then plastering his confused face all over every newspaper's front page.
55\. No putting T-Rexes in medieval Europe. It screws with the art historians.
56\. Putting a sloth, a wooly mammoth, and a saber-tooth tiger together in one room was a horrible idea and I'm not sure why you thought it'd be any different. But we're all glad you forgot about the baby.
57\. When Jesus told John The Baptist to send a scroll to Philadelphia (Revelations 1:11), he was talking about the ancient city in the Aegean Sea. Not the modern city in Pennsylvania.
58\. As awesome as the show was, and as touching as it was when they first met, Bill Nye The Science Guy and Mr. Wizard hosting a show together almost broke space-time. Let's not destroy the universe.
59\. No making Undertale or Deltarune classic Nintendo games. I don't care how much you want Sans to be in Smash.
60\. No more bringing teenage versions of famous sci-fi icons like George Takei and Gene Roddenberry to Comic-Con. They were traumatized by the mob of people all trying to touch them.
61\. No selling SOE, OSS, Abe Lincoln's Secret Service, or any other historical spy agencies information you got from a history book.
62\. No using the time machine to alter the course of WWII, WWI, the American Civil War, the English Civil War, the American Revolutionary War, The Thirty Years War, The War Of The Roses, The Hellenic War, The Punic Wars, or any other war. Looking at you, Harry.
63\. No introducing John The Baptist to LSD or any modern hallucinogenic drugs. Even if he offers you sainthood in exchange.
64\. No introducing John The Baptist to cocaine, even if it made him write Revelations in under 2 hours with no change in the content.
65\. No selling anachronistic weaponry. This goes hand in hand with 62. Again, looking at you, Harry.
66\. Stop telling people we travel through time by building de facto speed for 12 hours. That meme is dead and forgotten.
67\. No, the time machine doesn't back up your Mac files. Stop asking.
68\. The Morlocks are fictional and you should stop telling people they aren't.
69\. NO USING THE TIME MACHINE FOR ORGIES. STOP IT CHAD.
70\. As awesome as Bela Luigosi is, he is not the only person who can play Dracula. So stop trying to use the time machine to get him to play Dracula in EVERY movie, radio drama/podcast, and theatrical production since the 1930s.
71\. Don't give radio to the Romans. Or any other historical empire, for that matter.
72\. No rigging up 30 ox carts with speakers and blasting Abba during the Battle of Waterloo. Seriously, you had the smallest machine, so how did you even fit all that?
73\. No making the '73 fuel crisis last for a whole decade, even if it led to the widespread use of electric cars 60 years early.
74\. No using the time machine solely to make fun of bad Marty McFly halloween costumes.
75\. No inventing nitrogen-based fertilizer decades early to avert the Dust Bowl SOLELY to stop you from having to write a book report on Grapes Of Wrath in 6th grade.
76\. No giving George Washington's troops AR-15s. I don't care how awesome it would be.
77\. Ronald Reagan's Star Wars program was a failure for a reason. Let's keep it that way.
78\. You are not the Doctor. Stop telling people otherwise.
78a\. That is a flashlight with a green shard of beer-bottle glass glued on, not a sonic screwdriver.
79\. You aren't the Meddling Monk or the Rani either. And you certainly aren't the Master.
80\. You remember that scene in Time Bandits when the main characters got Napoleon pass-out drunk and robbed him blind? OFF. LIMITS.
81\. Tempting as it is, no killing, aborting, or otherwise preventing the rise to power of history's dictators. Why? Because there's always someone just as evil and twice as competent waiting in the wings. Also, through sheer force of experience, Hitler has become quite good at identifying and killing time travelers.
82\. No, you may not strand your boss in medieval times during the Black Plague. Even if he's an asshole. Just because Michael Crichton did it, doesn't mean you can.
83\. No, you are not trying to stop a mad god from killing half of all life in the galaxy, and it is wrong to tell people in the past otherwise.
84\. No trying to screw with paleontologists by posing dead dinosaurs in dance steps or interspecies coitus. It hasn't worked yet, but better to stop it now than suffer a deluge of angry phone calls.
85\. The G-Man cosplay is high-quality, but super creepy. Please stop.
85a\. The Lutece Twins cosplay is also high-quality, but people are getting frustrated by your lack of non-cryptic answers to any question.
86\. Using future technology to build actual Daleks armed with Nerf guns? Epic. Unleashing them on an unsuspecting 1960s Britain? Not so much.
87\. No trolling the hosts of Candid Cam by doing insane stuff in their presence, causing everyone to look around for the hidden cameras.
88\. No stealing whales from 1980s San Francisco.
89\. In accordance with 7c, no pantsing the Rockefellers. Seriously guys, stop it.
90\. All employees are to pass routine drug tests. Weed is OK under state law. Cocaine toothache drops and original-recipe cocaine Coca-Cola you scored in the 19th century are not. Neither is WWII-era military-issue morphine or heroin. All parties involved are being prosecuted on drug charges, including possession with intent to sell.
91\. No using the time machine to make random people think they're in the Twilight Zone.
92\. No using the time machine to screw with Libyan terrorists. You aren't Doc Brown and likely won't survive their retaliation.
92a\. No using the time machine to screw with the Egyptians either. The Egyptian Ministry of Antiquities does not appreciate the lyrics to the King Tut song written in hieroglyphics on the walls of his tomb.
93\. Using the time machine to avert historical tragedies will be evaluated on a case-by-case basis. Using the time machine to create new ones is verboten.
94\. No rival time machine rental company is run by Vandal Savage. Stop trying to convince people otherwise. Incidentally? The task force you assembled will need to go back where they came from with their memories of the incident erased. Also, HR and the FBI Counterterrorism Unit would like to have a word.
95\. I will not impersonate an investment banker and convince people at the turn of the 20th century to invest in molasses production in Boston, MA. I will especially not use the phrase "Waves of profit" when selling them on the idea.
96\. JFK conspiracy theories are rubbish, and it shouldn't take time travel to debunk them. It especially shouldn't take time travel and manipulation of events to make them seem more likely. Just stop.
97\. Steampunk cosplayers are to be kept away from the time machines. The last thing we need is for the robber barons to return.
97a\. Jeff Bezos doesn't technically count. But efforts are underway to erase him from time nonetheless.
98\. The time machine is not bigger on the inside, but the chassis is modular and can be swapped out for expanded units should the need arise. So stop it with the infinity mirrors. Seriously, that's not how physics works.
99\. No giving WWII spoilers to veterans of The Great War. Our Temporal Psychiatry department is swamped.
99a\. No making fun of Temporal Psychiatry's acronym.
99b\. No convincing Temporal Psychiatry staff to go into quarantine with you during the COVID-19 epidemic of 2020 and then bragging about how much TP you have.
100\. No using the time machine to try and erase fashion trends from existence. I don't care how much you hate grunge.
101\. I don't care how much they suck, no mocking the Byzantine Empire.
102\. If the time machine's reactor fails, standard procedure is to activate the backup reactor. Trying to use a bolt of lightning to restore power results in catastrophe, and this is to be made perfectly clear to customers. Some dumbass tried it and ended up creating the Tunguska Explosion.
103\. No matter how much the National Science Foundation or the private sector offers to pay you, no gathering history's greatest minds in one place. Although the group photo was epic, the resulting temporal backlash from these people being removed from their proper time almost resulted in the Dark Ages continuing into the 19th century.
104\. Do not gaze into the time vortex. Trust me, just don't.
105\. No more using the time machine to screw with the US Government in the 1950s. You are not a UFO.
106\. Contrary to the McFly school of time travel, future brand names make horrible secret identities. Max Pepsi, Ronald McDonald, Micky D., A.D. Das, and Ford Prefect are not acceptable aliases.
107\. Some times and places are off limits to people of certain races and ethnicities. This is not racism, this is an attempt at preventing our valued employees and clients from getting hurt. Incidentally, 1940s Germany is off limits to everyone, corresponding with the late Henry Cohen's attempt at violating #81.
108\. No giving Napoleon a speedboat while he is in exile.
109\. No trolling Robert McCarthy with the wristband communicators and bad Russian accents.
110\. No starting the American Revolution in Germany 150 years ahead of schedule. You are not Eric Flint.
111\. The time machine is not powered by alien space bats.
111a\. Neither is it powered by a hamster in a wheel.
111b\. Or "Narrativium," whatever that is.
112\. Acquiring trilobites for the lobby aquarium is great. Pranking fellow employees with insectophobia is not.
113\. Preston Tucker was a genius for his time, but has no clue how to design a modern automobile. I will inform General Motors of this the next time they ask.
114\. You will not screw with the production of Bond movies to ensure that James Bond drives a Vauxhall Astra.
115\. I am not Pickle Rick.
116\. You will not go back in time to ensure that time travel never gets invented, even if it would be best for humanity. The resulting paradox would destroy all worlds across all timelines. We made this bed, we lie in it.
117\. You will not replace beloved and/or controversial TV show hosts, no matter how epic having Carrol Shelby co-host Top Gear with Clarkson, May, and Hammond would be.
117a\. You will not use the time machine to have historical figures appear on modern TV shows. Even though watching George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, and Samuel Adams tongue-lash conservatives on Fox And Friends for 45 minutes straight was hilarious, especially the fact that Sean Hannity looked like a child who had been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. The footage will be kept around for entertainment, but a repeat will cost you your job.
118\. You will not use the time machine to arbitrarily change the universal standards for television broadcasting or cinema. Millions watching the moon landing filmed diagonally on a round screen with a camera suspended on bungee cords almost led to the downfall of television as a medium.
119\. You will not beat the Apollo crew to the moon and ask to borrow a cup of sugar.
120\. The Lovecraft mythos is fictional, and it's wrong to tell customers it isn't.
120a\. Incidentally, the practical effects for the shoggoth were quite realistic, and Hollywood would like to have a word.
121\. You will not make a techno remix of the Doctor saying "Wibbly wobbly timey-wimey ball" and convince the 1960s BBC to make it the official Doctor Who theme.
122\. If customers ask to visit the July Revolution of 1832, at least make sure they have a decent singing voice. The rotten vegetable smell still hasn't come out of Larry's clothes.
123\. No changing the order that numbers go in.
124\. No changing the order of the alphabet, either.
125\. The time machine is not to be rented out to art historians. Their fawning just inflates the Renaissance masters' already massive egos.
126\. You will not alter the course of history solely to prevent telemarketing from being invented.
127\. You will not convince young Nikola Tesla and Thomas Edison to go into music and call their band AC-DC. Incidentally, a shredding bass viola solo doesn't quite have the same effect.
128\. You will not attempt to troll Simo Hayha, Mad Jack Churchill, Otto Skorzeny, Audie Murphy, or any other famously badass soldier.
129\. Customers are to be reminded that visiting Stalin's USSR will end with a bullet to their brain, visiting Europe during the Black Death will end with them catching it, and visiting the Aztec Empire will end with their hearts being ripped out on a sacrificial altar with a jagged piece of volcanic glass.
130\. The Spanish Inquisition is not a joke. For future reference: Saying "I bet they didn't expect that" at a coworker's funeral is in poor taste, even if they hadn't died by being captured and tortured.
131\. Customers and employees are to refrain from insulting royalty, unless they're impersonating the court jester. Even if medieval royalty are mostly chill with parody, Cleopatra and Caligula are not.
132\. If stopped by police in Blitz-era Britain asking for papers, bribing them with white bread and bananas will likely not work. Even though that one cop looked about an inch from giving into temptation, they started asking a lot of questions about where you got a whole loaf from and what that clear shiny stuff it was wrapped in was.
133\. Customers are to be reminded that they are NOT Diana Prince, and that walking straight into No Man's Land is a colossally bad idea.
134\. No Rick-Rolling Rick Astley as a child.
135\. Although it was funny watching Winston Churchill swear up a storm about Brexit, Britain asks you not to not do it again.
136\. Never put Ettore Bugatti and Enzo Ferrari in the same room, then ask them whose car was better. And especially don't set up a betting ring on the resulting fistfight.
136a\. The same goes for the Renaissance masters and their art. Assholes.
137\. Torchwood is to remain a fictitious agency.
138\. Customers are not to spoil the surprise about which high-ranking member of the Manhattan Project was a spy. The resulting chain of events almost caused WWIII.
139\. Even though the past is a different country, there is a pressing need to blend in. So lose the Hawaiian shirt, Jeff.
140\. Customers are to be reminded that their sense of entitlement as American tourists will likely get them seriously injured or worse. Don't just stand back and let it happen, and especially don't bring popcorn.
141\. If any of your co-workers are little people, it's impolite to make constant Time Bandits references. Wally over in Temporal Backlash Dispersion is getting really sick of your shit. You know who you are.
141a\. And the same goes for customers who are little people.
142\. Whoever keeps putting giant prehistoric insects in unexpected places, clean out your office. You know who you are and so do we. However, the Arthropleura in the loading docks can stay, due to his apparent non-aggressiveness and because the staff there have named him Arthur and declared him their new mascot.
142a\. Arthur's a "he" already, is he?
142b\. Yes he is, and we love him!
142c\. This isn't a message board, guys.
143\. Live Compsognathus (Compsognathii?) are not for pranks. Poor critter almost froze to death in the fridge and Jennifer almost had a heart attack.
144\. Jack...clean out your office. You know what you did.
145\. Scientists are not to use tissue samples of prehistoric life for trying to create the perfect burger.
145a\. I don't know why anyone thought that mammoth Spam was a good idea, but it is surprisingly tasty and production negotiations with Hormel are currently underway.
146\. You are not John Connor or Kyle Reese, and it's wrong to tell people otherwise.
147\. The time machine is not to be used to tell H.G. Wells he got everything wrong about the future, even if he did.
147a\. Jules Verne's "Paris In The 20th Century" is currently under investigation.
148\. Thou shalt not useth thy time machine to messeth with the history or holy scripture of the Abrahamic faiths.
149\. Early warning: No licking the Beelzebufo. You won't get high off them, they don't like being licked, and their defense against predators is to secrete ridiculous quantities of capsaicin.
149a\. The so-called "Beelzebufo Inferno Challenge" is hereby called off due to hospitalization of several employees with severe chemical burns. Seriously, they've got as much capsaicin in one square inch as 6 Naga ghost peppers.
150\. "The Hunt For Red October" is a work of fiction, and it's wrong to try to sell a plot synopsis to the Cold War era US Government as actionable intelligence.
150a\. Concurrent with #61, no selling historical spy agencies fake secrets either.

Alright you lovely lot of people, story time.
A little bit of back round on myself. I am 37 years young. Introverted as hell, but it hasn't stopped me from accomplishing a lot in my life. I enjoy history, classic cinema/music, literature and I've always preferred the company of a select few over a crowd of people, as people friggin' drain me with inane nonsense a majority of the time. Yet, I've always believed in being there for people, no matter what. Your family, your friends, total strangers if the case arises. That's what being a human being is. Treat others how you would like to be treated and all that jazz. I also know, that nobody is perfect, and everyone has their struggles, especially now.
Now onto the relationship that made me go monk again.
Since 2018 I've been taking care of my elderly grandmother who suffered from dementia, that we didn't know she had at the time but suspected. I was working odd jobs on the side while I could and helping my grandfather as he owns a company that he still works for to this day at 80+. He has always been an inspiration to me and I only hope I could be half the man he is at his age. During this time, taking care of my grandmothefather I would mainly do it alone, because I was the single guy (by choice ) with nothing else better to do. And I didn't mind. I enjoy the company of the elderly since they seem to appreciate the simpler things in life, such as life itself, once they start getting older.
During this time I would spend most of my day making sure my grandmother was okay. She had her routines. She enjoyed swimming at 80+ going into a hot tub religiously for longer than she should. And enjoyed talking on the phone! Who would have thought! My grandmother was addicted to the phone as far back as I can remember. She had 30 ft extension lines to the old school rotary phones back in her house when I was a child, so she could walk around the house talking. As a young child you notice these things, but think nothing of it, because you were too busy watching Pee-Wee's playhouse, or The Real Ghostbusters, or outside playing with your friends (yes this was a thing) reading comics, playing with G.I.Joes and learning how to use your first swiss army knife.
My grandmother practically raised me since my mom was busy working as a child. I never met my real father once in my life as he was apparently a real scum bag. I found out he died a few years back and felt sad I never met him, but had no memories of him, so it didn't last long. So back to my grandmother. Her dementia had taken hold and she slowly started forgetting things. She'd forget where she put things, her credit cards, her purse, her tv remote. And then would get angry. If she couldn't find something, or thought she lost something, especially her phone, she would lose her shit. I know this was because of the dementia, but I had seen this before. I had seen this as a child, as a young man, and as grown male. A woman losing something, then losing her sh*t. I've seen the same from men as well. But with the phone, it's like losing your contact to the outside world. You have FOMO. You feel like you're nobody if you're not in on the conversation. I've seen this before. More so in women, then men. The phone had become a lifeline to other people, to other people's lives, and my grandmother would use it to call me nonstop to help her with things. Fix the television (that she couldn't figure out anymore) show her how to print pictures off facebook ( I hate social media) and how to cook the food I cook for her and my grandfather. Stupid stuff, but I would compromise my time, because who else was going to do it? My Parents have lives, my siblings have lives, and my grandfather still works to this day. So someone had to "Man Up" because nobody else would.
I would spend entire portions of my day with her, taking her places, making sure she ate alright, take her grocery shopping, get gas in her car (she still drove before the dementia was diagnosed) and show her how to use modern technology even if I hated doing so. It was just too much for her mind. Just like modern women. The stimulation is too much. Too many thoughts of other people contaminating your mind with nonsense. I would cook dinner for her and my grandfather or get take out food and come back to their house and watch a film or two with them almost every night. I'd watch my grandfather and grandmother both smile and cry over old school films they hadn't seen in years, and I would do so in return. It took me back to being a child. Watching films with them when I was a young boy. My grandmother was a VHS collector and in turn made me appreciate them and as hobby I would collect them over the years and DVDS/Blu-rays and such. I also would find and sell out of print copies of movies and video games/CDs to supplement my income. So every day after taking care of my grandmother and enjoying her and my grandfather's time, I slowly started thinking, I wish I had someone who would actually enjoy my company as much as they enjoy mine, and I enjoy theirs. Someone with an old soul. Someone who didn't enjoy modernity and wanted simpler things, and enjoyed simpler times.
Skip to July 2019. By now I'm at my grandparents house every morning at 5:30 to 6 am, to take care of my grandmother. Her dementia has grown increasingly bad. She yells all the time at me, my grandfather, whomever. Her need to call people on the phone and try to get them to take her to places and do things she use to do when she was healthier had me beyond stressed. My grandfather, stubborn as he is, didn't know what to do, and continued to go to work, leaving me alone with my grandmother all day. Eventually my mother starts to help me take over afternoons and I come back at nights to do the routine movie, dinner, tuck into sleep etc. This way I can take care of my life and not go completely insane. I had taken up smoking cigarettes again after a five year kick. I was mentally drained. I needed to get out. I had been single for 8 years. No dating. No Mating. I was a monk from my last relationship and decided I was better off alone. But I needed someone. Everyone does from time to time. We also try to get a nurse aid to come and help with my grandmother so I can continue with my life and not be there all day and night. It doesn't work.
Skip to September 2019.
Early morning. I get to my grandparents house and my grandfather is red in the face, saying my grandmother is cussing him out, going nuts on him. I've seen this before. I go inside. Try to talk to her. I get called all sorts of things. It's okay, I can take it. I have before. Things get worse. Mom and Stepdad try to come over and help. No help. Grandmother starts to get hostile and pushy/ throwing things. My grandfather says to call the EMS for her to take her to the hospital. I'm the one to do it. We go to the hospital, Doctors say she has a possible UTI making her act out this way. I'm a hot mess smoking cigarettes outside. I realize then our dog has been home all day and probably hasn't been outside. My parents owned a dog who I had taken care of for years as well. I had to live with my folks due to past surgeries and basically having to restart my life over twice from it. I tell my mother I'll run back to their house and let him out. My younger brother is with me. We get home, and my dog is walking around funny. He walks over to his water bowl, and starts drinking and drinking and drinking. He wouldn't stop. I was worried right away. Then he was outside....Vomiting. In the grass. Didn't look good at all. My brother calls my mother, tells her what's going on. They rush home, then take my car to rush our dog to the VET 45 minutes away. I sit and wait. I get a call. It's my younger brother. He tells me our dog has passed away. I break down as a man would when he loses his best friend. That was the start of the heartache.
Days pass. My grandmother has been diagnosed with Stage 3 Dementia. My Grandfather and mother make the decision she needs to be in a nursing home full time. I am crushed. I never thought they would do that to her. She had been so kind to everyone her whole life and her house was her home, her peace. She was extremely extroverted and loved to be outside and talking to people. Running for people, doing for people. I suspect some of it was for praise, but my grandmother was a genuine good soul. Now she was going to spend the rest of her days in a home. And I would visit her everyday, and listen to her tell me everyday "I'm coming home tomorrow, You come pick me up and we'll be okay!" I would internally die a little inside hearing this, and I'd say "Yes, I will be here tomorrow for you!" knowing damn well she'd never leave that place. My grandfather and mother insisted that if she left, she'd be inclined to go home and it would be worse off. I just wanted my grandfather to realize he had to stop and take care of her. Not let some strangers take care of her. Not letting her be around friends in her own house. But in the end, I know I couldn't have taken care of her by myself.
Skip to October 2019.
I've accepted that my life is completely different now, and I've lost a great deal in a short time. I was coping with a lot. I visited my grandmother every day in the nursing home. I was still helping with my grandpa, still earning money, and still trying to have a life. I create a online dating account. It reminds me why I hate social media. The filters. The faces. The bios all sounding the same. Then I come across one. She's an older woman, but looks great for her age. Says she is Introverted (awesome) and enjoys Horror films (Great!) and a few other details I enjoyed. She was also a Goddess, according to her and her tattoo. I message her something and immediately get a message back! Whoa. We chat a bit, I tell her what I'm into, but also tell her currently what is going on in my life. We seem to hit it off pretty quick, and the next thing I know we have a date. Date night comes, and I get a call from my grandmother. It's a bad night for her, and then for me after dealing with an hour conversation or so about wanting to come home. This was an everyday thing for me. So I called my date up and asked if I could postpone or I could possibly go somewhere closer to where we lived since she only lived a few minutes away from me. She agreed I could buy her a starbucks coffee at 9pm on a friday night and bring it to her. I didn't want to starbucks so I stopped at a gas station and got her an ICED Starbuck coffee. Good enough right? It was. I meet her. She's pretty awesome right off the start. Asks me about my day and I ask her about hers. Tell her about my grandmother and why I had to postpone. Says she understands and thinks I'm pretty great for what I do. We make out almost immediately, and I could have gotten more, but I didn't want sex. I wanted companionship. Someone to talk to. So we just made out cuddled and watched The Joker. I leave at like 4 in the morning, she tells me to text her when I get home. I do, emojis hearts and all that silly fluff. Days later we're hanging out again, doing the same stuff. She wants to clearly have sex. I don't give it up because I want to find out who this girl is. RED flags ignored from her wanting me early on.
I start to ignore her because I feel like If I give her too much attention I'll seem clingy. She still insists on hanging out almost every other night. So we do. Eventually one night, we make love. A few times. She seems to enjoy it and I did too. After 8 years of not having sex, it's nice, but nothing is nicer than having someone next to you who (pretends) to care about you after the act is done. I start to stay over, as I would usually leave early in the morning, and she gets use to that. I get use to it. Things feel good.
My grandmother calls me everyday still. Tells me how great I am, and that she wants to come home and for us to watch movies etc. (For someone with dementia she had a great memory still) And it would eat me up inside, but I knew she was safer there, than she would be with me, but I always regret being the one who called the EMS to have her put away. It slowly would eat away at me.
December 2019
After being with my girlfriend for a couple of months I finally ask her to go STEADY. Yep, I'm lame. She asked me what that meant? I told her. A committed relationship. A couple. She said I was lame, but she accepted. I even started to use the L word again with her. It was odd telling someone you loved them after not doing it for so long. Then one day, my grandmother called me. She was blaming me for not being there all the time, etc, even though I was the only one there, visiting her every single day. It just made me snap. I quit working for my grandfather. I went off on him and my mother for allowing this. I said they had no idea how this made me feel for being the one who locked my own grandmother up, trying to do the right thing. It didn't matter. Nobody listened. So I broke something. I broke a window and I was kicked out. I was sleeping in my car. I didn't care. I didn't even tell my girlfriend till later that night. She told me to come over and I could stay with her. So I did. We talked, I told her about everything how I felt, just needed someone to listen to me for once, instead of being the one always listening. And she did. She said I could stay with her till I sort things out. During this time we really grow to love each other, finish each other's movie quotes. I taught her survival skills, how to prep for disasters, end of the world shit. Etc. She thought I was goofing around, I was serious. I read disaster books and study history so I know where we are headed in our current state. She bragged to her friends and family about me. It felt good to feel appreciated. Then suddenly, Corona comes around.
Jan - Feb 2020
Things are doing good, I'm helping fix up the girlfriends house. She works and lives as an onsite manager at her job, so It was definitely something to get use to. I bought her all sorts of things she needed for her place, it looked like someone's place who ate out dinner every night and rarely cooked for herself. For I helped make it feel more like a home. We went shopping to get new plants for the house, furniture that I would have to move and or put together. We would talk all the time about our plans for the future etc. I eventually got a new job, but then I lost it, as the lockdowns began.
March 2020
The lockdowns have started. The masks have started. The prepper in me knows this is not good. The girlfriend doesn't really see it as anything major. Until 2 weeks, became a meme. Even then she didn't see it. She remained an essential worker throughout all this, meanwhile I watched people I knew working jobs for 30+ years lose them due to this pandemic. I eventually built her a proper pantry and filled it up with food and water for her. I spent hundreds, thousands on stuff for her to keep her safe and have her set up in case something happened. Solar panels, portable power stations. You name it. She finally realized I was serious about this, and about her, and about US. She would post pictures of the things I gave her claiming she was now a "Survivalist" etc. It was cute. Women are cute. Things seemed well. I wasn't working, still looking but wasn't working full time, but could still pull money in from doing side jobs and selling collectibles. While she worked. I cooked, I cleaned, I did the dishes, the laundry (all by hand because none of her appliances worked) I helped fix things in her place. Fix her car tires, fix the problems on her new car she bought (Without me going to look at with her) and ultimately did alot of work at her job, for free, to help her out. She enjoyed it, I enjoyed it. I thought
July 2020
By now the quarantine has gotten to people. I'm use to being inside and alone and not going out all the time so it's not too bad to me. For my girlfriend, like others, it is. They miss going out. They miss their social lives. They're all on their phones way too much now. Searching for SOMETHING. Meanwhile, I've created a spare bedroom at my girlfriends place, because she snores, and I couldn't sleep most nights with her. Terrible I know. I also have insomnia so it was vital I get at least a couple hours of sleep a night to keep my sanity. So one night after spending time with the woman, making love etc, I tell her I'm going to crash in the other room so she can get some sleep, and I can as well. Kiss goodnight etc. I walk in a couple times in our bedroom to check on her, she puts her phone down immediately and I ignore it. Then I can't shake something. I'm just thinking she's talking to someone etc. I didn't want to be that guy and ask her for her phone. So I did something that wouldn't get me into trouble. I installed the dating app we used to meet back in October. I get online and start looking for women her age in my area. Boom. See her profile. New pictures. Single. New Bio. I lose my poop. I burst into the bedroom and go off on her. I say what the f are you doing? Call her names. Yell. Then I grab my stuff, pack up everything. Takes me 5 hours or so to do this at 1 in the morning, and take about 7 trips in my little car to and from her places and my parents. At this point I'm just beyond pissed and upset and start drinking and smoking heavily.
A couple days later, we talk, I apologize (stupid of me I know) for flipping out. She said she just felt lost and confused etc. Same ol' trite. We get back together. Make love, and eventually I come back. Things feel weird, but I'm glad to have her back in my life. I truly love this woman and would do anything for her. Then, this changed everything. Her sister, age 50, alcoholic, divorced multiple times, dating multiple men, moves in with us. Yep. 3 people in a tiny apartment. Living together. Doomed from the start.
Her sister claimed her mother whom she was living with, had bed bugs and had to come stay with us. I said okay. Turns out it was permanent. This b*tch took over my spare bedroom I made. And then I even helped her set up an office in their so she could work from home, while drinking all day like an alcoholic. Good times. So now I was dating a woman, and dealing with her sister's bullsh*t. I had to listen to her about her failed life, her men that she didn't need, yet was constantly monkey branching from one to the other. I will admit this lifestyle was not one I am accustomed too. I'm a white male, and my girlfriend was african american. So I had to listen to her talk bad about men, her own family behind their back, etc, all day. Whilst I was busy cooking, cleaning, doing EVERYTHING neither of them would do, all the while trying to find a new job during a pandemic. Meanwhile neither of two really understand what was going on. Just as long as they had their job, and their booze. I slowly started to realize this woman was never going to leave my life. She wanted to cling to little sister to drink and tell her all her problems, especially about MEN. This really put me off, seeing as I was man, who was helping take care of their asses. I was buying groceries, with little money I had, and then her sister would continue to eat, drink, and rarely contribute to our household. The only thing she would contribute was BOOZE and that was after she would drink most of the stuff I had bought. I didn't sign up for this. And everyday, I still had to deal with this, and talk to my grandmother, and try to find a job whilst being a house maid.
September 2020
It's my girlfriend's sister's birthday. The pandemic has made everyone crazy by now. Including my girlfriend, her family etc. I'm cool as a cucumber. Except it's 103F degrees outside. I'm grilling out for a small group of her family for her sister, and I'm outside for hours, prepping for her sister, with my girlfriend, waiting on her sister to get to the park we had planned it for. What was she doing? Getting drunk, letting us do all the work for her, meanwhile her friends were showing up to her own party that she wasn't at. Ridiculous. So I grill out for hours, nobody says thanks other than my girlfriend. She tells me "Thanks for being so great, you're so great." I like to think I have been great. Turns out I got dehydrated from being outside in the heat all day and ended up getting sick. Went home and to bed. Girlfriend doesn't console me, instead has some family members and friends come over from the party, to get loud and drink. No consideration for my health. A day or two later, I get in huge fight with girlfriend saying she didn't give a d*mn about my health what I did for her and her sister etc. End up packing up all my stuff once again, and leaving. I was done. I signed up for a girlfriend not a girlfriend and a sister. If her sister was hot maybe, but not the case. I was done. I thought. But alas, we talked, she apologized, I apologized (again stupid of me) and we got back together.
October 2020
My favorite month. I love Halloween. So much I helped decorate my girlfriends place with stuff, and she said she never did this in her life. She had a bad childhood, and I don't think she ever really did FAMILY stuff that didn't evolve drinking or getting high etc. She really enjoyed it. We watched horror films all month, and she seemed genuinely happy. I was happy. Not with the living situation, but happy with her, and happy with life. I was still dealing with my grandmother. Not being able to see her thanks to the lockdowns had really put a damper on my spirit, but I never showed it around my girlfriend. She knew or claimed to know how much my grandmother means to me. But I don't think she ever understand what I really did for her or put up with just to help others. Everyday having to retell my grandmother why I couldn't visit her because of the pandemic, something she couldn't comprehend. It was killing me slowly again inside, but I dealt with it, because that's what men do.
Nov-Dec 2020
Things had been going well. I had been putting in job applications with no luck, but I was still keeping busy, hadn't let this pandemic crush my soul completely. My girlfriend was becoming more and more stressed, and drinking more and more. I was too. I also started to resent my girlfriend for leaving a mess every single day. It would take me 4 to 6 hours a day to cook breakfast and bag it for the girlfriend, clean the dishes, clean the house, vacuum, take care of the cats, make her lunch, do the laundry, clean the dishes again, rinse and repeat. It became exhausting. Her and her sister would just get drunk and spill something every single night. I would step into something sticky and it would drive me absolutely mad. Like living with children rather than grown up. Whatever, I love this girl, right? I'd do anything for her. She found a kitten end of November too. Rescued him when it was cold outside and we took him in. I loved the little sh*t and our other cat more than anything after losing my dog a year ago. Older cat would sleep with me in bed, and the little one I'd let out and play with in the day and he'd bite and claw me. How I miss that. My girlfriend however had grown distant. I noticed it more and more. She slept on the couch with one cat. I slept in our bedroom with another. Her sister was constantly interrupting us and putting a strain on our relationship. My sleeping pattern was changing and my insomnia was getting worse again. But I still loved this woman right?
Most of December though, we do alright. We talk about Christmas plans etc. I get her gifts that she says "Are the best gifts EVER" and a one year anniversary ring and she took them to her families house for Christmas to show off, and tell everyone how great her boyfriend was. She never met my family. I tried to get her to come to family events even during this CRISIS. Never met my family other than my brother and cousin. That's cool though right? I love this girl. Christmas day, I call my grandmother. Wish her a merry Christmas. Tell her I love her. She says merry christmas and I can't wait to see me again and come home. It kills me. Five days later my grandmother passed away. After being told she was sent to the hospital and would be okay, I got the call at about 9:45 pm from my brother saying she had passed. I had just fallen asleep from a long day, and this nightmare was not one I was prepared for. I immediately started crying and my girlfriend hugs me, askes if there is anything she can do. I say no. I leave to my grandparents house, and we all just cry. I don't get back home till 2 in the morning. She barely says anything to me. Rubs my shoulder, and I cry myself to sleep.
My grandmothers funeral was January 5th. I have missed talking to her every single day. My girlfriend sees me walking around like a zombie. I feel lost. She doesn't even try to console me. I cry every morning to myself while making her breakfast. I never let her see me cry. My girlfriend didn't goto the funeral because she had to work, and then tried to say I never asked her to come to the funeral after I told her I didn't know the funeral date till after her work schedule was made. Girlfriend seems more cold than ever to me. I needed my best friend she claimed to be. Just one day out of the past year I needed her for emotional support. Nope.
My girlfriend's birthday is a day after my grandmother's funeral. I get my girlfriend a birthday cake, and some gifts. She barely cares. I'm depressed as hell. She DOESN'T care. She says she wants to go out for her birthday etc. I'm depressed as hell. Have a lip/mouth infection that I tell her about, she dismisses it and just says I need to see a doctor. Thanks babe. That night she goes out. I don't go with her. Says she went to bar or some shit. I don't remember nor car. Comes home piss drunk, I don't care. For a week she ignores me. Doesn't ask how I'm doing. Nothing. I still continue my routine. Cleaning cooking, etc. She says he wants to go out again on a sunday for her birthday. I said you already had your birthday. Doesn't matter. She celebrates it all month apparently. She askes me to go with her I decline saying I'm not in the mood but to go enjoy herself. She leaves at 3 in the afternoon, dressed sexy as hell, doesn't come home till 10:30 at night from the "Bar." I stay up all night waiting for her to get home, she's p*ss drunk again, and I just goto bed. A couple night's later We have dinner watch a movie, everything seems okay again. I'm nodding off in the chair in the living room, because I haven't slept proper in weeks. I goto bed. I wake up 30 minutes later to her drunk sister and her laughing being loud. I text her to keep it down please. Didnt happen. An hour later. I text her again. Keep it down! She says she's trying and it's her sister. I said tell her to be quiet then. Continues to another hour. Can't sleep. Depressed. Angry. Tell her to please shut the f up! Girlfriend says okay. Text me back saying her other sister and brother in law will be here on saturday for her birthday (how many f*cking birthdays do you get!) and they will be loud so I should probably go back to my parents house. A house I haven't been in in a over a year. I said fine, I'm leaving in the morning. Packed my stuff up. Left. Didn't talk to her all day that day. Text her at night. She never answered. Called her. She kept making up excuses not to talk to me. I've seen this before. She then calls me at midnight saying she can talk. I say I'm going to bed. She breaks up with me the next day over text. Not like an adult. Over a text.
​
I lost it. I freaking lost it.She said I wasn't bringing anything to our relationship, and seeing me act how I act over the loss of my grandmother was making her think I was a sinking ship basically. I said how can you be so cold? 3 weeks ago I was the best boyfriend ever. Now this. Betrayed. Stabbed in an already broken heart. I tried to talk to her. Why? She screwed me over? I loved her. I loved her. But what I didn't love was what she pretended to be. I realized she never cared about me or what was going on in my life. It was always about her and her family. So what did I do? I lost my shit. I blew up her phone and wanted to make her feel the betrayal and pain she gave me. I just lost my grandmother and this b*tch had the nerve to say I was the problem? And she made me believe I was. After all I did for her, and put up for with her and her crazy sister and family. I tried to talk to her and she ignored me. For a year and a half living with and loving this woman, and her feeding me bullsh*t whilst never asking for anything in return other than companionship. I lost her. I lost my cats. I lost my grandmother. All in a couple weeks. I wanted her to feel the pain I felt and the pain she had brought me. After her ignoring me, I finally got drunk and went back to our place to see she had a party going on. She was celebrating her birthday and the removal of me from her life. That is how it felt. To see the woman you loved, who you just gave an anniversary ring to, then stare at you like a total stranger whilst she is intoxicated and you're standing there looking like a emotional trainwreck. I just wanted answers as to why she would do this to me? It didn't matter at that point. It was over. And we both let it out on each other. I tried apologizing like an idiot. Just made it worse for me. She gave up along time ago. And now I'm just trying to put myself back together. I can't sleep. I can't eat. I just work and drive and smoke cigarettes now. And she doesn't care. And never did. She's already moved on, loves her new life, new boyfriend I'm sure of. I should have seen the red flags. But didn't. Stay safe out there.
​
Fin

All of y'all's year reviews made me want to do the same, so I wrote down a few sentences of everything I played last year. I was surprised it was so much as my partner moved in with me and I expected to have a lot less time, but that actually didn't happen and Corona did its thing. I'm a bit late to the review party, but I needed time to write down my thoughts and didn't want to do it in one session.
Standard platform is PC, everything else is labelled.
Done:
Darkest Dungeon – halfway through (most tier 2 bosses). it was a nice and interesting start to a game I thought I liked, but 40 hours in I realized I was in fact not having fun. It was repetitive and the payout was very low for me as rewards felt small and especially upgrades to the village took a lot of time. I did play the game with too much emphasis on keeping every character alive, in a game that wants you burn them, so maybe that’s one me. But maybe it’s just not my type of game. Visuals, presentation and the IDEA of the combat system were nice, though. 5/10
Kingdom Hearts 3 (PS4) – finished story. Kingdom Hearts has become a burning pile of tires, but I hold it dear since the first game and I want to know what is happening. The visuals are amazing and the combat system is engaging, at least, yet a bit much at times, with way too many special interactions going on at all times. But KH3 is basically if the story has an alignment which is just true chaotic. The main story is…there, for most of the game, but nothing happens with it. Each world has its own story and both them and the overarching plot are almost completely irrelevant to each other. What a pity. Also, so many minigame and once-and-gone game mechanics, what the hell. I had fun, but it could have been so much better. And they skipped over most FF elements. 6/10
The Wolf Among Us – 100%. Played it with my partner who had already finished it years before. It’s one of the prime Telltale games and the first that I wasn’t familiar with the source material with. It has a very interesting lore and visuals for sure. Other than that, very much a standard Telltale game and you either like it or you don’t. I did enjoy it a lot with its interesting plot and characters. 8/10
Starlink: Battle for Atlas (Switch, digital version) – finished story. I like me some occasional space game. Starlink was an oddball in many ways for me. I probably wouldn’t have looked at it as I thought it’s just a toy merch game, but Starfox and the existence of a toyless version drew me to this. I know I could have played nicer looking version, but the tie-in with Starfox was actually not that shallow and came with a small unique storyline, so that’s the most Starfox I will get until Nintendo releases (and doesn’t fuck up) another full game. Due to its toy origins, the game has a few unique quirks, like the weapon, ship and pilot switching on-the-go to match enemy vulnerabilities and combat styles. The mix of planetary and solar exploration and gradual faction growth with even a few RTS elements sprinkled in worked for me. It was a lot of fun! 7/10
Injustice 2 – finished story, some achievement hunting, trying out all characters a bit and dabbled in the multiverse mode. I’m not a huge Beat’Em’Up player, but some concepts are too interesting to pass up. Given how few Heroe League (Avengers and Justice League) games come out well, I had to take my chances here. The story is…forced, but it works for this kind of game. The interactions between the heroes are pretty entertaining to watch. I can’t really judge if the combat system was good or not or balanced or not, but it worked for me, although some fights were pretty frustrating. 7/10
Thronebreaker: The Witcher Tales – 100%. Gwent really got to me in the Witcher 3. It was kinda sad to see that this is an entirely different card game (although closer to the online Gwent), but it was still a great one. Telling the really interesting story of Queen Meve, the game not only expands the lore of the really intriguing Witcherverse, it also tells it through this mix of roaming through a map and army fights presented by card battles. The visuals weren’t all too exciting, although the art style worked for me. The score was awesome, though, maybe even better than the one from W3. I can absolutely recommend this game to any person interested in card games and in the Witcher. 9/10
Mutant Year Zero: Road to Eden – finished story and most content. I have so many tactical RPGs on my backlog, all with very interesting settings, but animal mutants in a postapocalyptic Sweden? That’s one of the freshest ideas in a while. The top hat wearing duck really sold it to me. Unlike many other games of its genre like XCOM, the areas are connected with each other like in more classic RPGs. Stealth kills played a huge part in this game as open combat makes the game a lot harder. It’s not a very long game, which I appreciated. However, the initial premise of its animal mutants really fell short as there were actually not that many in the game. I also would have liked to have more of the characters in my team, but the stealth advantages made some characters a lot stronger than others, so there was little choice in which people to take. Itemization and progress were alright, the combat is pretty much as in XCOM etc. 7/10
Cities in Motion – played some scenarios. Preparing for Cities: Skylines, I figured I should play this first. It’s an alright public transport planning simulation that made me excited for planning stuff throughout several cities. However, I have some serious issues with it. For once, this game punished you hard for planning public transport like in real life and creating ridiculously tiny lines (like 2 stations per metro line) was the only way to any meaningful amount of money. Also, the German scenario pack has 12 scenarios, but only 4 cities (other packs are similar). It’s interesting to revisit cities in different eras, but to rebuild everything every time is annoying. And the tasks you get are borderline asinine, like building a line with three stations in far ends of the map, which I circumvented with temporary lines that I immediately deleted after completing it. In its core it had great potential, but felt lazily executed. 5,5/10
BATTLETECH – finished story, some flashpoints and fooled around with mech components for a bit afterwards. Been a while since I dived into MechWarrior games, maybe a good 17 years. Battletech is…GOOD. Maybe my favorite game I have played that year. The campaign is great, has a good plot, but also gives you an open galaxy to explore at your own leisure. The hunt for new mech chassis in the midgame was the most fun I think. Building mechs, balancing your finances, keeping your people alive and trained, random events on board of your ship and upgrading your ship all felt meaningful and well interconnected. It’s also a turn-based tactical RPG, but it works with its own rules (like weapon groups and destroyable sections) and does so very well. 9,5/10
Batman – The Telltale Series – 100%. A solid game for both Batman and Telltale fans. The story was original enough and I always enjoy a plot that isn’t focused on the way overused Joker – who has his part, but a very interesting one. Not really much more to say here. 8/10
The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild (Switch) – finished story and most of the map. Finally, I tackled this behemoth of this generation. I haven’t played a Zelda since Majora’s Mask and the reason for that was a lack of drive to finish either of the N64 installments. Now, 20 years and a friend with a copy available later, I felt urged to play it as I wanted to give back the copy. Didn’t expect much despite the hype, but I have to say this game is (almost) as good as people say. It’s one of the few games that really lets you do whatever you want in the order you want (after a brief tutorial). My partner is playing it right now and it’s interesting to see how different our approaches to the order of quests and also specific challenges are. It rewards creative problem solving due to its physics engine. It is not perfect, especially the weapon system is weird and non-permanency in weapons feels just odd. NPCs are not very well written. The world is rather empty and while that has a plot reason, it feels like there should be more at times. But despite that, the game is a lot of fun and deserves its reputation. 9/10
Monster Hunter World + Iceborne (PS4) – defeated everything up to Furious Rajang, about 350 hours played with a fixed group of 3 and sometimes two other RL friends. Probably the game played most intensely this year. I bought a PS4 Pro in February and soon after – also thanks to Corona – I started playing this with two other friends, almost daily for several months. I had played Tri a decade ago and liked the general idea, but hated a lot of outdated conventions (both from Nintendo and the game itself) back then. World does most things I hated so much better. The monsters are engaging and (mostly) fun, the weapons are diverse and have their niches, the progression system is addictive, I love the Palicos & the private suite customizations and there is so much to see and find in the few maps they have. Great game if you like the combat and if you don’t focus too much on story because that one is paper-thin. 9/10
Uncharted 4: A Thief's End (PS4) – finished story. I liked U2 and U3 a lot, so this was a must-play after getting the PS4. It’s probably the most graphically impressive game I have played so far. The combat felt a little forced at times, but I guess that’s the genre. Although sneaking felt more possible and rewarding than in previous titles (as far as I remember). The story is a typical “one last gig” thing, but I liked the inclusion of Drake’s youth and especially how they concluded the Drake saga (maybe?). It’s a very solid game and definitely a must-play for PS4 owners. 8,5/10
EVERSPACE – finished story, post-story and most side missions. I don’t like losing progress, but like Rogue-likes with in-between progression systems, so despite my first hesitation, I picked up this game as I was craving a new space game. Though having a VR, I never got to play it in that mode, but still, I had a lot of fun with it. Some runs were intense and discovering new elements always put an excited wtf face on my head. The in-universe explanation for it being Rogue-like worked for me and getting funds to improve your ships between runs was addictive enough to try again and again. Same with weapons, they were different enough to try out different ones. Just don’t expect too much content out of this, it’s not a big game. 7/10
GRID (2019) – finished base game and some of the season pass content. I was a big fan of the first Grid and played all games in between. But like them, this one did not manage to be as engaging as the first one. While I enjoyed playing through the different leagues and liked the variety of cars and inclusion of a team mate, I did get bored to go through every cup as some of them had a severe lack of cars within them. There was no upgrading of cars, money was meaningless for 99% of the game and a overall career feeling of the ‘story’ mode was absent. At least I didn’t have to basically only race against Ravenwest anymore and other teams were still relevant. I feel like Codemasters could do a lot more with the foundation they have created here, but fail to connect the races in a meaningful way. 6/10
Star Ocean: Integrity and Faithlessness (PS4) – finished story and most side quests. This was one of my most wanted PS4 titles before Horizon: Zero Dawn came out. I loved Star Ocean 1, 2 and 4 so much. 4 in particular was just great enough to fill the small void that FFXIII had left back then. I heard about the mediocre reviews of IaF. And it was…actually mediocre. What I forgot or never knew was that I got released as a PS3 game in Japan first. And it really, really shows. The game was UGLY. Not ugly ugly, but playing it directly after Uncharted 4 was quite a shock. Not that it matters too much. However, the second problem I have with this game is directly aim at its soul. The other games had you jumping between planets and several distinct locations. And IaF started very promising, hinting at similar qualities. But then, it just…went into its climax and ended. Sure, some parts are in actual space. But you have seen about 80% of the locations within the first quarter of the game, which is ridiculous. It’s such a pity as the game’s story and combat are actually very enjoyable and I loved just grinding, which is quite unusual for me. But the narrow scope of the game wastes a lot of potential and that’s a real disappointment to me as a fan of the series. It could have easily done so much better. 6,5/10
Risen – finished. Oh boy, this game was sitting in my backlog for a LONG time – probably since its release I wanted to try it out. Unfortunately, this is a case of being TOO patient. The game is horribly outdated nowadays, the combat is not much fun and punishes you hard even on easy difficulty. The quest flow, general plot, start and choice of character skills are good, but I do think everything else – graphics, item flow, combat, sound, art design - was pretty bad. This was two years before Skyrim, but it feels like it’s been 10, honestly. I am still curious about Risen 2, 3 and Elex, however. But I might skip the first two after this. 3/10
Team Sonic Racing (Switch) – finished story. Yes, story. It’s as good dumb as you would expect from a Sonic racing game. Weirdly enough, I performed a lot better in handheld mode. The minigames are frustratingly hard as drifting is way overdone. The actual racing is nice, but no match to Mario Kart 8, although I do appreciate the idea of teams with ultimate boosts and item sharing. 6,5/10
Yakuza 0 – finished story and most major side activities. God, this game completely surprised me. I was absolutely 0 interested in crime settings, but Humble gave me this gem of a game. My partner suggested to try it out together, but lost interest in it, so we stopped for 2 months. I then picked it up again by myself and got increasingly invested in the story, the combat system and the bajillion of side things to do. THERE IS SO MUCH TO DO! And most of it is fun, doesn’t overstay its welcome too much and helps develop the main characters a little bit. The Real Estate and Hostess Club minigames are basically entire games-within-a-game, the pocket racer would also work by itself and the Karaoke songs were absolutely adorable and are a must-see in all of gaming. While I thought that the game got bloated a bit due to the two characters both having their own full-blown story, but sharing a single game, the interconnection made it kind of necessary to not separate them. But the game felt a bit long thanks to that (and all of the minigames that felt kinda mandatory at times). Anyway, I am now completely hooked on the series and look forward to the next entry – although I really need some time off lest I encounter the good old Assassin’s Creed-like fatigue. But given I couldn’t give two shits about Yakuza – even though I fucking majored in Japan Studies – this is an amazing feat. 9/10
Additional note: Getting into Yakuza memes alone is worth playing this, but the more I read and watch about this game and the series, the more and more I appreciate this franchise.
Endless Legend with a few DLCs – finished two full games (~38 hours). I was in the mood for a 4X game and this one was poking in my side for a bit. Endless Space was quite enjoyable and the overarching plot kinda works? I enjoyed expanding, researching and the quest system as well, but it felt just like Civ5 in general, with a few exceptions of course. It was weird that the ‘ages’ weren’t really differentiated visually and that you kept using the same units throughout the whole game – also there are not many of them, but there is an intriguing RPG-like customization system baked into it instead, which was cool enough. The winter and sea fortress system was also refreshing (but probably brought in from DLCs). Factions had some differences that went beyond what Civ would do, but the really deviating ones (like lava or fungus people that need different ways of city building) were hidden behind DLCs I do not have. Two games were enough for me, but I may come back in the future. 7/10
Need for Speed: Payback (PS4) – finished story. Being a PSN+ freebie, I got a bit excited over the silly F&F story that I felt like seeing with my own eyes. And the game delivered on that - but not much more. My last true NfS was Hot Pursuit (2010) (and my NfS favorites: Shift 1+2), so it had been a while. But I realize that I do not need that speed anymore. While the game was ultimately enjoyable, especially cruising around, finding stuff and customizing the cars, I especially disliked the offroad races with their weird rubber band perfect traction AI which was really frustrating. The driving in general revolved too much around drifting everything, but I guess that’s full arcade racers for you. And the automatic car reset was a bit too eager at times. 5,5/10
Rise of the Tomb Raider (PS4) – finished story and Croft manor side story. Also a PSN+ freebie. I have played the first game and was quite entertained by it. As I played Uncharted not too long ago, I was able to compare those two games a bit and while Uncharted looks undoubtedly better (and I prefer non-supernatural stuff in this kind of game), I think that Tomb Raider is the better game overall. This might be due to the usage of a skill and weapon customization system, which made exploring places and looking for XP, resources and parts fun. I also think that limiting the game’s world to one location (outside the prologue) helped immersion a lot. The game has quite a bit of a different feeling than the first TR, but mostly due to Lara being kickass from the start instead of allegedly being a frail grad student that 20 hours later massacres armies of armed and trained mercenaries. I liked it quite a lot of the backstory with her dad and caretaker were quite interesting as well. 8/10
Not done / on and off:
League of Legends – almost exclusively ARAM, sometimes bot games for trying out stuff. Not much to say to this, it’s a notorious, but ultimately good MOBA. The new items overhaul was a bit of a big change, but now I am getting the hang of it, I think. Some of the new champions of this year are fun to play, like Samira, Lilia and Seraphine. One of my friends quit the game for good, I think, so only one other is left, and it’s the go-to game if it’s just the two of us. Sometimes I play by myself, but I try to play more single player games then.
Animal Crossing: New Horizons (Switch) – some 70 hours to built my house, the island is my partner’s. This is my first Animal Crossing and after hesitating at the beginning, I did enjoy it quite a lot. It’s very relaxing, you can work towards small goals, but without any stress. Interactions with other villagers will become repetitive, but at the beginning it feels very sweet. It’s also nice that Nintendo supports the game with free updates every month. 8/10
Yu-Gi-Oh! Legacy of the Duelist: Link Evolution! (Switch) – played through story mode until midway ARC-V. I have my YGO phases every now and then where I watch a show and play a corresponding game at the same time. The Switch game is pretty nice as it lets me play through all TV shows’ stories, lets me play with most characters’ decks, has reverse duels for every story battle, but I also can always use my own decks which is sometimes very necessary as some matches are VERY one-sided. There are also challenge battles against very good decks which are as difficult as I imagine actual competitive dueling. Two things I don’t like about this particular YGO game: No free battle vs. CPU and only 30 custom deck save slots. The Tag Force games were still ahead in that regard. Still, it’s a solid entry that can provide hundreds of hours of entertainment for YGO enthusiasts and is a great travel companion. 8/10
Undertale – I just can’t get into it, sorry. This is my second attempt and I got a lot further than last time (about one third in). But something just doesn’t click with me. Maybe the humor feels forced, maybe the retro graphics do, or maybe I get too hype-talked by people. I don’t know.
Super Seducer – almost done with the first one. We mostly play it together or with other people, to have a good time. I got this from Dunkey, but I have to say the first one isn’t even that funny. A lot of the explanation in how to approach women are cringy at best and predatory at worst. I guess it does teach how to behave better for some very inexperienced guys, but in general it shouldn’t be used as a guideline in how to get girls to talk to you.
Katamari Damacy REROLL – almost done. It’s a fun game for a silly afternoon. The controls are garbage, but it doesn’t matter too much. The humour is great and rolling up increasingly bigger things is weirdly satisfying.
Borderlands 2 – Playing with friends every now and then. It’s still fun and I haven’t explored all characters yet (although leave me alone with Krieg), so there’s still more to get out of it.
Jackbox 1-7 – I was a huge fan of the early YDKJ games 20 years ago, so I’m happy they are still around and have adapted new technologies to further their game concepts. The Jackbox games have become staples in many parties and were a major driver during corona to get people together online around the globe to play a few rounds of whatever minigame we wanted to enjoy. Some games are not good, of course, but the ever-growing library of minigames always manages to add refreshing new titles to the list. My favorites are Quiplash, T-K.O. and Champ’d. 10/10
Risk of Rain 2 – unlocked all characters, had a couple of runs with friends and by myself. I have to say I might not like the game too much. The characters are interesting and the upgrade system is addictive, but losing progress without much being gained from a run (except lunar coins and unlocked characters/skills) feels like making no progress at all, in a way. It’s fun to play with friends and you can somewhat relax and chat while jumping and shooting around. 6/10
Beat Saber – half of campaign mode, but mostly custom songs. I LOVE Beat Saber. It’s the reason I got a VR system this year (a used 2017 Vive, but I don’t need more for that) and I had a lot of fun (and exercise!) with it. It’s sad when your wanted songs have not been mapped or mapped really bad, but the existing database is really big and a lot of fun to go through. There are a lot of gameplay additions (like one-handed, 90° and 360° modes), but the standard mode is still the best (or most-supported). The latter half of the campaign is dumb as hell, tho - hitting a specific amount of combos within a very small threshold in both min and max is such a dumb thing. Mods make the game a whole lot better and some stuff should really be in the base game. 9/10
Audica – played through campaign mode and some custom songs. Not as good as Beat Saber, but it’s still very enjoyable. It’s hits the same spot, but with a twist. Mod support is not a big here, but still there. 8/10
Cities: Skylines + most DLCs – still working on my first city after 40 hours. Depicted as the penultimate city builder, I had to get into this at some point. I have to admit, it’s pretty good. As good as imagined? Maybe, maybe not. The base formula is not that complicated, but the DLCs add a whole lot of flavor to it. I can definitely recommend it, but I still have a lot of time ahead with it.
Postponed:
Xenoblade Chronicles 2 (Switch) – I started and had a lot of fun with it, but stopped after roughly 5-10 hours as my partner was taking over the Switch with BotW (she played Witcher 3 before, so I was able to player with the Switch in the meantime) and switching cartridges all the time is a pain in the ass. Will continue soon and am very excited to do so.
​
Summary: 2020 was probably the most intense gaming year for me so far, mostly thanks to Corona. My top three are probably BATTLETECH, BotW and Yakuza 0, with some honorable mentions to Beat Saber, MH:W and Jackbox. My gaming year 2021 is going to look similarily awesome and I already planned to play so many very high-profile games: Xenoblade Chronicles 2, Paper Mario: The Origame King, Fire Emblem: Three Houses, Starpoint Gemini Warlords (almost finished this one already), Darksiders 2, Horizon: Zero Dawn, Gran Turismo Sport, Persona 5 Royal, Final Fantasy VII Remake, Borderlands 3, GTA V.

Gather around, folks! You voted, and here they are, the final results for the /DCcomics Best of 2020 Awards! Of course, this being 2020, there just had to be some craziness with the results. Some loon spent six hours creating over 80 burner accounts to stuff the ballot box, but unlike some people out there, I actually have the evidence. SIX HOURS! Unfortunately for this poor soul, it took me about 60 seconds to dump every one of their votes.
Anyway, those who nominated winning entries will receive their Reddit Premium in due time.
Full breakdown of results
Best of Archives
 
Congrats to all the winners! Here they are...
 

Best Writer

Tom Taylor

Writer of DCeased: Dead Planet, Hellblazer: Rise and Fall, Suicide Squad, and others

From zombies to demons to some sort of Suicide Squad, Tom Taylor accomplished a lot in the DC space.
Runners-Up:

• Simon Spurrier
• Tom King
• Grant Morrison
• Ram V
• N.K. Jemisin
• Dan Watters

 

Best Penciller

Jason Fabok

Penciller for Batman: Three Jokers

One thing that everyone can agree on about Three Jokers is Jason Fabok knocked it out of the park.
Runners-Up:

• Jorge Jiménez
• Liam Sharp
• Evan "Doc" Shaner
• Jamal Campbell
• Bilquis Evely
• Aaron Campbell

 

Best Inker

Jonathan Glapioin

Inker for Dark Nights: Death Metal

The veteran of many Batman comics takes home this award for bringing Greg Capullo's monstrous creations to life.
Runners-Up:

• Danny Miki
• Joe Prado
• Andrew Hennessy

 

Best Colorist

Brad Anderson

Colorist for Action Comics, Batman: Three Jokers, Detective Comics, Justice League Dark, and others

Another win for the art team of Batman: Three Jokers!
Runners-Up:

• Jordie Bellaire
• Tomeu Morey
• FCO Plascencia
• Adriano Lucas
• Jeromy Cox

 

Best Letter

Clayton Cowles

Letterer for Aquaman, Batman, Rorschach, Strange Adventures, Superman's Pal, Jimmy Olsen, and others

From Batman to Superman to Rorschach, Clayton Cowles is rightfully one of the most recognizable letterers in the industry.
Runners-up:

• Aditya Bidikar
• Steve Wands
• Wes Abbott

 

Best Ongoing Series

John Constantine: Hellblazer

Written by Simon Spurrier Illustrated by Aaron Campbell, Matías Bergara, and Jordie Bellaire

The Black Label series has delivered some of the most riveting John Constantine stories in over a decade, and has readers demanding DC for more.
Runners-Up:

• Justice League Dark
• Suicide Squad
• Hawkman
• Legion of Super-Heroes
• The Dreaming
• Lucifer

 

Best Limited Series

The Green Lantern: Season Two

Written by Grant Morrison Illustrated by Liam Sharp and Steve Oliff

In season 2 of their ambitious cosmic saga, Grant Morrison has taken Hal Jordan on some of his wildest and most imaginative adventures yet.
Runners-Up:

• Superman's Pal, Jimmy Olsen
• Far Sector
• Strange Adventures
• Wonder Woman: Dead Earth
• The Question: The Deaths of Vic Sage
• Rorscach

 

Best Single Issue

Dark Nights: Death Metal - Speed Metal #1

Written by Joshua Williamson Illustrated by Eddy Barrows, Eber Ferreira, and Adriano Lucas

This high-stakes race was the team-up that Flash Family fans had wanted for a long time.
Runners-Up:

• Dark Nights: Death Metal - The Secret Origin #1
• The Other History of the DC Universe #1
• John Constantine: Hellblazer #6
• The Terrifics #25
• The Last God: Songs of Lost Children #1

 

Best Anthology

Dark Nights: Death Metal - The Last Stories of the DC Universe #1

Credits

On the eve of battle for the fate of the Multiverse, heroes come together and find closure, love, and companionship.
Runners-Up:

• Green Lantern 80th Anniversary 100-Page Super Spectacular #1
• Detective Comics #1027
• Robin 80th Anniversary 100-Page Super Spectacular #1
• Batman: Black and White #1

 

Best Digital First Series

DCeased: Hope at World's End

Written by Tom Taylor Illustrated by Marco Failia, Rex Lokus, and others

Taylor's DCeased universe has been a major hit with many DC readers.
Runners-Up:

• Superman: Man of Tomorrow
• Harley Quinn: Black + White + Red
• Batman: Gotham Nights
• Injustice: Year Zero
• Our Fighting Forces

 

Best All-Ages Comic

Superman Smashes the Klan

Written by Gene Luen Yang Illustrated by Gurihiru

This tale of racism and cultural identity wins this category for the second year in a row!
Runners-Up:

• Amythest
• Batman Tales: Once Upon a Crime
• Zatanna and the House of Secrets
• Prime: A Superhero Graphic Novel

 

Best Cover

Far Sector #7

Illustrated by Jamal Campbell

Campbell's art is one component that makes this mature mini-series enthralling.
Runners-Up:

• Rorschach #1 Wraparound, by Jorge Fornés
• Legion of Super-Heroes #10, by Ryan Sook
• John Constantine: Hellblazer #5, by John Paul Leon
• The Other History of the DC Universe #1 Variant, by Jamal Campbell
• The Dreaming #20, by Yanick Paquette & Nathan Fairbairn

 

Best Page/Panel

"We're never alone." (Dark Nights: Death Metal - The Last Stories of the DC Universe #1)

Written by Joshua Williamson, Scott Snyder, and James Tynion IV Illustrated by Travis Moore and Tamra Bonvillain

It's a Titans reunion!
Runners-Up:

• Man of Two Worlds (Strange Adventures #7)
• Pilot. Salesman. Warrior. Lover. (The Green Lantern: Season Two #7)
• Jefferson Pierce and John Stewart (The Other History of the DC Universe #1)
• "Everyone dreams the Dreaming." (The Dreaming #19)
• The Lynching of Earl Cliffford (The Other History of the DC Universe #1)

 

Best Original Graphic Novel

Green Lantern: Earth One, Vol. 2

Written by Gabriel Hardman and Corinna Bechko Illustrated by Gabriel Hardman and Jordan Boyd

The second installment of this alternate world space saga brings in the Yellow Lantern Corps and introduces John Stewart.
Runners-Up:

• Shadow of the Batgirl
• Teen Titans: Beast Boy
• The Lost Carnival: A Dick Grayson Graphic Novel
• Arkhamaniacs
• You Brought Me the Ocean

 

Best Collection - First Print

Harleen

Written by Stjepan Šejić Illustrated by Stjepan Šejić

Stjepan Šejić's story of psychological manipulation is one of the finest things to bare the Black Label imprint.
Runners-Up:

• Superman Smashes the Klan
• Superman: Up in the Sky
• John Constantine: Hellblazer, Vol. 1: Marks of Woe
• Batman: Universe
• The Question: The Deaths of Vic Sage
• Lucifer, Vol. 3: Wild Hunt

 

Best Collection - Reprint

Absolute Fourth World by Jack Kirby, Vol. 1

Written by Jack Kirby Illustrated by Vince Colletta, Mike Royer, and others

All hail the King.
Runners-Up:

• The Sandman: Overture - J.H. Williams III Gallery Edition
• Absolute Swamp Thing by Alan Moore, Vol. 1
• Y: The Last Man, Compendium 1
• Legion of Super-Heroes: Five Years Later Omnibus, Vol. 1
• Ex Machina, Compendium 1

 

Best New Character

Punchline

Created by James Tynion IV and Jorge Jiménez

Joker's new influencer is also the Character of the Month.
Runners-Up:

• Clownhunter
• The Silver Ghost
• Tommy Willowtree

 

Best Television Series

Doom Patrol (DC Universe)

Created by Jeremy Carver Starring Diane Guerrero, April Bowlby, Alan Tudyk, Matt Bomer, and others

The hit DC Universe series won over Harley Quinn by just the narrowest of margins.
Runners-Up:

• Harley Quinn (DC Universe)
• Stargirl (DC Universe)
• DC's Legends of Tomorrow (The CW)
• Supergirl (The CW)

 

Best Film

Birds of Prey

Directed by Cathy Yan Starring Margot Robbie, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Jurnee Smollett-Bell, and others

The Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn was a sleeper hit with DC fans.
Runners-Up:

• Superman: Man of Tomorrow
• Wonder Woman 1984
• Superman: Red Son
• LEGO DC: Shazam!: Magic and Monsters

 

Best Fan-Made Work

Stephanie Brown Robin, by Symeona

Source

Congrats to Symeona! Someone should let them know that they won!
Runners-Up:

• Batman and Superman Villain Designs, by u/thisrocknrolla

 

Biggest News Story

Dan DiDio is Fired

Full Story

The departure of the long-tenured co-publisher shocked people all over the industry.
Runners-Up:

• Zack Snyder's Justice League Announced
• DC Future State Announced
• COVID-19 Shuts Down Industry
• DC Drops Diamond Comic Distribution
• Sexual Harassment Allegations Made Against Cameron Stewart, Warren Ellis, Scott Lobdell

 

WTF Moment of the Year

Action Comics - John Romita's Art

The year 2020 was full of weirdness, and what better way to send it off than with uhhh... Lois Lane's tapeworm mouth.
Runners-Up:

• Batman: Three Jokers - Pick anything
• Dark Knights: Death Metal - Robin King's everything
• Batgirl - Babs makes bad choices

 

Best /DCcomics Subreddit Post

[Discussion] Is Green Lantern writer Geoff Thorne wrong about Hal Jordan being worthless cardboard?, by SuperDidioPrime

Original Post

Never underestimate the lengths that someone will go to make a shitpost. Our resident clown seemed to have saved their best stuff for late in the year.
Runners-Up:

• [Other] This kid is about to get drowned in Superman stuff., by u/tpieman2029
• The DC Schedule - An Infinite Frontier!, by u/AWildDorkAppeared
• ELI Hal Jordan: What is Death Metal?, by u/AhhBisto

 

/DCcomics Meme of the Year

Everything SuperDidioPrime does

From shitposts about killing Robins to savage attacks on Comicsgators, this sub's local jester may very well be the high point of 2020.
Runners-Up:

• Roasting Ethan Van Sciver for defending pedophilia
• "Hal Jordan is worthless cardboard"

 

Favorite Non-DC Comic - Corporate

Daredevil

Written by Chip Zdarsky Illustrated by Jorge Fornés, Marco Checchetto, Nolan Woodard, Mattia Iacono, and others

Chip Zdarsky's transcendent run on the Devil of Hell's Kitchen has DC fans excitedly anticipating his upcoming Batman work.
Runners-Up:

• The Immortal Hulk
• Marauders
• Black Widow

 

Favorite Non-DC Comic - Creator-Owned

The Department of Truth

Written by James Tynion IV Illustrated by Martin Simmonds and Aditya Bidikar

This paranormal thriller dives deep into the cult of conspiracy theories and how terrifying the weapon of misinformation can be.
Runners-Up:

• We Only Find Them When They're Dead
• Pulp
• Coffin Bound
• Stillwater

 

Most Anticipated of 2021

Nightwing, by Tom Taylor and Bruno Redondo

After two years of suffering through Scott Lobdell's mess, Nightwing fans finally have a reason to be excited. And did you notice the puppy?
Runners-Up:

• The Suicide Squad, directed by James Gunn
• Young Justice: Phantoms (HBO Max)
• Future State: Wonder Woman, by Joëlle Jones
• The Sandman (Netflix)
• The Swamp Thing, by Ram V and Mike Perkins
• Y: The Last Man (FX on Hulu)